Sarah Palin took an IQ test and finally scored in the three-digit range.
Harry Reid and Bill Bellichick were sitting at a table at a fund-raiser and both cracked a sincere smile.
Hillary Clinton had a picture published in the newspapers where she didn’t look, tired or mad as a wet hen.
You can’t believe any of the above, but you can believe what’s below.
Despite the budget deficit that defies explanation and has more zeros than a Nolan Ryan no-hitter, the government – the one run by people we elected to serve our needs – is spending money on projects and programs that are mind-bogglingly stupid.
The government funded a $700,000 study by the University of New Hampshire to study greenhouse gas emissions in the dairy industry. The study concluded that “cows emit most of their methane through belching, only a small fraction from flatulence.”
There was no mention of BS in the report, literally or figuratively.
The provost of the university said the study was “not wasteful. It’s important.” Apparently, he said it with a straight face.
In case you think the University of New Hampshire is the lone recipient of dubious federal largess:
1) Wake Forest University received almost $150,000 to study “preliminary data on the efficacy of integral yoga for reducing menopausal hot flashes.” That’s gummitese to explain how meditation and exercise might ease menopausal symptoms. It’s a possibility that taking a shotgun and shooting the holy heck out of a bunch of man-shaped targets might do the same thing.
2) Wake Forest (those grant-writing little boogers!) also got more than $70,000 to study the effects of self-administering cocaine on the glutamate system on monkeys. College students are gonna get high on getting monkeys … well, high.
4) University of North Carolina-Charlotte received a whopping $760,000 grant to develop computer technology to digitally record the dance moves of performers. Interesting project, assuredly, but how is such a study the business of the federal government?
5) In the past several years, more than $1 billion has been sent to dead people to pay for prescriptions, wheelchairs, pay rent, and even to help defer heating and air conditioning bills. More money than oversight, for sure.
6) $21 million in federal funds goes to Lockheed Martin from NASA to advance research for supersonic jet travel. The first benefactors of this technology is expected to be business executives.
7) The government spent $2.2 million to help pay for a new irrigation system to a San Francisco Golf Course, a public course that the city council is considering closing due to a species of frog and snake that are endangered and live in the area.
8) Your tax dollars went to pay the expenses of five students of the University of California-San Diego to go to Africa to study and report on why “Africans vote the way they do” in elections? Is it possible that a similar study in the U.S. would have been more helpful?
9) A company called NanoGriptech has been awarded more than $400,000 to develop sports equipment (read football and baseball gloves) to develop a technology that mimics the sticky feet of geckos. The far-ranging plan is to develop a technology that will allow robots to climb difficult surfaces.
10) And, finally, Indiana University professions received more than $220,000 to study why young men do not like to wear condoms. Eeeeewwwwww!
Seriously, you can’t make this stuff up. These are some examples of your tax dollars are work … and the attitude of those elected officials who approve such nonsense.
Thursday, December 23, 2010
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Let's talk 'stupid!'
To quote that philosopher Forrest Gump: Stupid is as stupid does.
On the International Abject Stupidity Scale (IASS), with 10 being Stephen Hawkings and 1 being a statement by the late Bubba June McClintock, who used to live just south of Marshall, who once said, “Hold my beer and watch this!”, there are a lot of folks in the 1 to 2 range.
To wit:
To all those folks that voted Bristol Palin as the best dancer on the newest version of “Dancing With the Stars,” a rousing, romping 1.
To all those hapless folks who pick up urban legend information from the Internet and pass it along as gospel, a single, solitary digit.
I don’t even have to tell you the score of the man who called the cops to complain about the performance … of the prostitute he hired to come to his hotel room.
To all those Democrats who think/thought Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi did a good job … aw, you know the score to that one.
To all voters who think that changing the makeup of the House of Representatives is going to do one single bit of good or make any significant positive change in the responsiveness of government … see the scoring of the item above.
The Federal Aviation official(s) who decided to approve “re-entry” into the earth’s atmosphere for planned commercial flights to outer space get a 1 and a big ol’ “DUH!” for that earth-shaking decision.
To the Transportation Security Authority screener who decided to pat down former presidential contender Ron Paul, who is so right-wing he can fly only in circles, and “touched his junk,” as the kids used to like to say, an incredulous .5.
But, then, there are some folks who score high on the scale.
Like the female passenger who recently decided to bypass the chance of a hard pat-down at the Los Angeles airport and went through security clad only in a black bikini.
It’s hard not to applaud the free-thinkers who circulate through our world who make the rest of us smile.
Oh, what the heck: Clapclapclapclapclap.
On the International Abject Stupidity Scale (IASS), with 10 being Stephen Hawkings and 1 being a statement by the late Bubba June McClintock, who used to live just south of Marshall, who once said, “Hold my beer and watch this!”, there are a lot of folks in the 1 to 2 range.
To wit:
To all those folks that voted Bristol Palin as the best dancer on the newest version of “Dancing With the Stars,” a rousing, romping 1.
To all those hapless folks who pick up urban legend information from the Internet and pass it along as gospel, a single, solitary digit.
I don’t even have to tell you the score of the man who called the cops to complain about the performance … of the prostitute he hired to come to his hotel room.
To all those Democrats who think/thought Harry Reid and Nancy Pelosi did a good job … aw, you know the score to that one.
To all voters who think that changing the makeup of the House of Representatives is going to do one single bit of good or make any significant positive change in the responsiveness of government … see the scoring of the item above.
The Federal Aviation official(s) who decided to approve “re-entry” into the earth’s atmosphere for planned commercial flights to outer space get a 1 and a big ol’ “DUH!” for that earth-shaking decision.
To the Transportation Security Authority screener who decided to pat down former presidential contender Ron Paul, who is so right-wing he can fly only in circles, and “touched his junk,” as the kids used to like to say, an incredulous .5.
But, then, there are some folks who score high on the scale.
Like the female passenger who recently decided to bypass the chance of a hard pat-down at the Los Angeles airport and went through security clad only in a black bikini.
It’s hard not to applaud the free-thinkers who circulate through our world who make the rest of us smile.
Oh, what the heck: Clapclapclapclapclap.
Friday, November 12, 2010
Mayoral repeat is best alternative
Back in the day when I was writing a weekly column for the Cabot Star Herald, I gave then-Mayor Stubby Stumbaugh a lot of grief. And, even with years of hindsight, much of the criticism was richly deserved.
But, this time around, Stumbaugh, eagle tattoos and all, is the best alternative in the upcoming runoff election.
After losing a city council race, and getting his ears pinned back in a run for Congress, Stumbaugh has something to prove: He truly wants to make a name for himself in his hometown.
As most folks know who follow politics, power can be used for good or evil. Stumbaugh, who has been vilified for his bombastic nature and control-freak attitude, can change his image and do some good for Cabot.
There is no doubt he wants to be remembered for accomplishments which enhance Cabot.
With that attitude, and with the victory from a tight race as his foundation, he can be a positive change in our community.
But, this time around, Stumbaugh, eagle tattoos and all, is the best alternative in the upcoming runoff election.
After losing a city council race, and getting his ears pinned back in a run for Congress, Stumbaugh has something to prove: He truly wants to make a name for himself in his hometown.
As most folks know who follow politics, power can be used for good or evil. Stumbaugh, who has been vilified for his bombastic nature and control-freak attitude, can change his image and do some good for Cabot.
There is no doubt he wants to be remembered for accomplishments which enhance Cabot.
With that attitude, and with the victory from a tight race as his foundation, he can be a positive change in our community.
Monday, November 8, 2010
Elections ’10: A year to forget
Did you say you voted? I’m sorry. My condolences.
Those three short sentences are not a great way to win friends and influence people, for sure, but it’s the way a lot of voters felt after the elections.
This is not a lambasting of conservative whiners, er, winners, or political do-gooders, or liberal leaners; this is a eulogy for the benignly ignorant rat pack of folks who voted for the wrong people or stood on the wrong side of issues for the wrong reasons.
Be honest, now: Did you vote for a person you did not know, did not research his or her record and didn’t have a clue as to qualifications or stances on important issues that are pertinent to the office sought?
Did you cast a ballot for a candidate and the only thing you knew about him or her was what you read on a yard sign?
Did you vote for a person or issue based on the recommendation of a family member, friend or associate?
Did you cast a ballot based strictly on party affiliation?
If you answered yes to any of those questions … shame on you!
With an average of less than 50 percent of the eligible voters taking time to cast ballots in any election (except in the presidential election years), it is the saddest state of affairs that so few care about the future of the country that good, smart people won’t exercise their right to vote.
My son, 21 and very, very smart, didn’t vote because, as he put it, “What different does it make? They are all the same, regardless of party, regardless of promises. Politicians do what they want to do to enrich themselves. Nothing changes.”
Me: “All of them? They all are out to enrich themselves?”
Him: “Every single one. No exceptions.”
As have been observed by various people over the past few decades, I can argue with a stump and declare myself the winner, but it’s hard to argue with youthful logic of that caliber.
And, it’s hard to conjure up a single politician I have watched, studied and written about in the past 45-plus years that didn’t remove his or her nose out of the public trough until they were richer than when they were first elected.
As one political sage told me several decades ago: “Any politician that loses money being in public service is an idiot.”
While we can argue the degree of relative idiocy of politicians, it’s hard to imagine anyone believing that vast majority of politicos seek public favor without wanting money or power … and most want both.
Just as it’s hard to imagine that any vote just cast for any politician on any level will change a durn thing in the way governments operate.
Those three short sentences are not a great way to win friends and influence people, for sure, but it’s the way a lot of voters felt after the elections.
This is not a lambasting of conservative whiners, er, winners, or political do-gooders, or liberal leaners; this is a eulogy for the benignly ignorant rat pack of folks who voted for the wrong people or stood on the wrong side of issues for the wrong reasons.
Be honest, now: Did you vote for a person you did not know, did not research his or her record and didn’t have a clue as to qualifications or stances on important issues that are pertinent to the office sought?
Did you cast a ballot for a candidate and the only thing you knew about him or her was what you read on a yard sign?
Did you vote for a person or issue based on the recommendation of a family member, friend or associate?
Did you cast a ballot based strictly on party affiliation?
If you answered yes to any of those questions … shame on you!
With an average of less than 50 percent of the eligible voters taking time to cast ballots in any election (except in the presidential election years), it is the saddest state of affairs that so few care about the future of the country that good, smart people won’t exercise their right to vote.
My son, 21 and very, very smart, didn’t vote because, as he put it, “What different does it make? They are all the same, regardless of party, regardless of promises. Politicians do what they want to do to enrich themselves. Nothing changes.”
Me: “All of them? They all are out to enrich themselves?”
Him: “Every single one. No exceptions.”
As have been observed by various people over the past few decades, I can argue with a stump and declare myself the winner, but it’s hard to argue with youthful logic of that caliber.
And, it’s hard to conjure up a single politician I have watched, studied and written about in the past 45-plus years that didn’t remove his or her nose out of the public trough until they were richer than when they were first elected.
As one political sage told me several decades ago: “Any politician that loses money being in public service is an idiot.”
While we can argue the degree of relative idiocy of politicians, it’s hard to imagine anyone believing that vast majority of politicos seek public favor without wanting money or power … and most want both.
Just as it’s hard to imagine that any vote just cast for any politician on any level will change a durn thing in the way governments operate.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
To paraphrase Pogo:
We are our own worst enemy
It’s been known for quite a spell, but now it’s a certified fact.
A large majority of Americans – 65 percent – would vote to replace every single elected member of Congress. A recent poll showed just how many Americans are throwing-up sick-and-tired of the games being played by those so-called public servants who care more about party affiliation and partisan politics that about fixing the ills of this country.
It is an educated guess that the 35 percent who would not vote to replace every elected official in the House and Senate are a relative, a government employee or a hard-line party know-nothing.
This country is in a helluva shape and has been for more than 10 years. Say what you want to about Bill Clinton – Go ahead! We’ll wait for the diatribe! – but under Clinton there was a balanced budget and he left office with a budget surplus.
I know, I know. I can hear those tongue-cluckers warming up their YB arguments. YB? You know, “Yes, but ….”
Yes, but … at least Clinton’s kept his corrupt behavior on a personal level, and did not drag down the entire country kowtowing to the special interest groups that really run this country.
It’s an old, old argument, but it never loses its truism value: What’s wrong with America is we started out with a country run by citizens and ended up with a government run by greedy politicians and special interest groups with more money than morals.
Let’s face it: The situation will not change as long as there are only two parties from which to choose. And that statement intentionally disqualifies the Green Party and the Libertarians from consideration; both fringe groups run more scary people for office than killers conjured up in a Saw movie.
The answer is simply not change for change sake. The answer is term limits for members of Congress. A constitutional amendment is the only way to fix that thorny situation since seated members of Congress are never, ever going to do anything to reduce their power or influence.
So, what are we waiting for?
Demand of those elected on November 2 to start the process for term limits. And don’t be surprised if your request is answered in a series of non-denial denials and political-speak nonsense.
Needed changes in the system will not be made by those elected; they can only be made by those who vote.
It’s been known for quite a spell, but now it’s a certified fact.
A large majority of Americans – 65 percent – would vote to replace every single elected member of Congress. A recent poll showed just how many Americans are throwing-up sick-and-tired of the games being played by those so-called public servants who care more about party affiliation and partisan politics that about fixing the ills of this country.
It is an educated guess that the 35 percent who would not vote to replace every elected official in the House and Senate are a relative, a government employee or a hard-line party know-nothing.
This country is in a helluva shape and has been for more than 10 years. Say what you want to about Bill Clinton – Go ahead! We’ll wait for the diatribe! – but under Clinton there was a balanced budget and he left office with a budget surplus.
I know, I know. I can hear those tongue-cluckers warming up their YB arguments. YB? You know, “Yes, but ….”
Yes, but … at least Clinton’s kept his corrupt behavior on a personal level, and did not drag down the entire country kowtowing to the special interest groups that really run this country.
It’s an old, old argument, but it never loses its truism value: What’s wrong with America is we started out with a country run by citizens and ended up with a government run by greedy politicians and special interest groups with more money than morals.
Let’s face it: The situation will not change as long as there are only two parties from which to choose. And that statement intentionally disqualifies the Green Party and the Libertarians from consideration; both fringe groups run more scary people for office than killers conjured up in a Saw movie.
The answer is simply not change for change sake. The answer is term limits for members of Congress. A constitutional amendment is the only way to fix that thorny situation since seated members of Congress are never, ever going to do anything to reduce their power or influence.
So, what are we waiting for?
Demand of those elected on November 2 to start the process for term limits. And don’t be surprised if your request is answered in a series of non-denial denials and political-speak nonsense.
Needed changes in the system will not be made by those elected; they can only be made by those who vote.
Monday, October 18, 2010
Those darn do-gooders
A recent emailer recently wrote something positive about a group called "Conservatives for Quality Government."
In more that 45 years of covering the governmental process from a lot of angles, I can attest to one thing without equivocation: Any group with a high-falutin’ name with certain “key” words or “phrases” in its name is not reliable, has focused on a single-issue item, and are more “agin” something than they are “fir” it.
In the example above, I would automatically surmise that “Conservatives for Quality Government” are not conservatives and do not want quality government. Those high-sounders are, in fact, more than likely right wing-nuts who don’t want “quality” government, but want a government that agrees with their philosophy du jour.
Taking that logic to the next level, it’s a safe bet that “Concerned Citizens for…” anything – Quality Government, Quality Education, Safe Streets, Abolishing Drugs – are more interested in pushing their own personal agenda than they are in the societal Big Picture.
Money (think special interest groups, political action committees, and just plain too-rich-and-mean-to-die folks) runs his country, not the vote that each of us individually cast.
Most folks think their vote counts, but never stop to consider that their vote was purchased at some point.
Some votes are bought by tradition: “My grandpappy as a Democrat and that’s good enough for me!” Some are bought by one-issue platforms: “Whoever the NRA supports, count me in!” Some are influenced by the dumbest of reasons: “Did you see all the yard signs for the WASP county judge candidate? He must be all right!”
Some folks vote straight ticket ballots. It’s hard not to feel sorry for those who do not have enough matter in the brainpan to research and vote for the best candidate, not ones selected by simple R and D labels.
In a perfect world, there would be no party affiliations about which to ponder. Voters would cast ballots for a person based on experience, deeds and ideas and the ability to communicate those to a mass audience.
Unfortunately, we have become a nation of lethargic dreamers walking in a deep rut. We might want a better system and a better cast of characters from which to choose, but, as a whole, we don’t want to exert ourselves to make necessary changes.
When it comes to politics, we have forgotten two age-old truisms:
1) When a person runs for public office, at some point in the race – and assuredly after the race, if elected –that person will lie.
And,
2) A rut is simply a grave with both ends open. So get out of it as soon as you are able.
In more that 45 years of covering the governmental process from a lot of angles, I can attest to one thing without equivocation: Any group with a high-falutin’ name with certain “key” words or “phrases” in its name is not reliable, has focused on a single-issue item, and are more “agin” something than they are “fir” it.
In the example above, I would automatically surmise that “Conservatives for Quality Government” are not conservatives and do not want quality government. Those high-sounders are, in fact, more than likely right wing-nuts who don’t want “quality” government, but want a government that agrees with their philosophy du jour.
Taking that logic to the next level, it’s a safe bet that “Concerned Citizens for…” anything – Quality Government, Quality Education, Safe Streets, Abolishing Drugs – are more interested in pushing their own personal agenda than they are in the societal Big Picture.
Money (think special interest groups, political action committees, and just plain too-rich-and-mean-to-die folks) runs his country, not the vote that each of us individually cast.
Most folks think their vote counts, but never stop to consider that their vote was purchased at some point.
Some votes are bought by tradition: “My grandpappy as a Democrat and that’s good enough for me!” Some are bought by one-issue platforms: “Whoever the NRA supports, count me in!” Some are influenced by the dumbest of reasons: “Did you see all the yard signs for the WASP county judge candidate? He must be all right!”
Some folks vote straight ticket ballots. It’s hard not to feel sorry for those who do not have enough matter in the brainpan to research and vote for the best candidate, not ones selected by simple R and D labels.
In a perfect world, there would be no party affiliations about which to ponder. Voters would cast ballots for a person based on experience, deeds and ideas and the ability to communicate those to a mass audience.
Unfortunately, we have become a nation of lethargic dreamers walking in a deep rut. We might want a better system and a better cast of characters from which to choose, but, as a whole, we don’t want to exert ourselves to make necessary changes.
When it comes to politics, we have forgotten two age-old truisms:
1) When a person runs for public office, at some point in the race – and assuredly after the race, if elected –that person will lie.
And,
2) A rut is simply a grave with both ends open. So get out of it as soon as you are able.
Tuesday, October 12, 2010
Poor, pitiful us
It’s a simple, complex sentence, really.
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.
Okay, we all understand all that. It’s the law and … well, big whoop.
But what about another “Congress shall make no law …” that the Constitution framers forgot.
Congress shall make no law that affects the citizenry that does not equally affect the elected members of Congress, and all elected and appointed officials of the federal government.
Where’s that law, huh?
And,
Congress shall pass no law that uses taxpayer money to enrich its members, relying on the goodwill and fairness of the American people to set salaries for elected officials.
Elected officials think, nay, believe, they are better than average citizens and they prove it every time they pass a law that benefits them and excludes the citizens.
For example: Congress is not governed by the Social Security laws. If they were, do you think there would be a problem with Social Security?
Congress passes laws in virtually every session that binds the country’s citizens to the will and whim of the elected, but excludes the elected from the boundaries of those very same law.
Why do they think they can do that? Because they can and the people allow it. And, those that we put in office will continue to do so because the people of this country have become a pack of sheep, dutifully, blindly, following the bell sheep to the slaughter pens.
It is amazing to think that there are people out there who truly and honestly believe that slashing the Democratic majority in Congress will change one single thing in the way government is run.
It won’t. It will change the faces and positions of the main power brokers, but it will not change the way members of Congress enriches themselves on the backs of the taxpayers.
This is a trick question, now, so pay attention: Can you name one politician who went to Washington and returned home with less money than they went there with? Forget ending a sentence with a preposition! This is serious and grammar rules be damned.
The system – Demogogues, Republicrats, TeaHee Partiers … they are all the same, all spouting political pabulum and selling it as steak. And we keep paying steak prices for gruel.
Poor, ignorant, misguided, bamboozled … us.
Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.
Okay, we all understand all that. It’s the law and … well, big whoop.
But what about another “Congress shall make no law …” that the Constitution framers forgot.
Congress shall make no law that affects the citizenry that does not equally affect the elected members of Congress, and all elected and appointed officials of the federal government.
Where’s that law, huh?
And,
Congress shall pass no law that uses taxpayer money to enrich its members, relying on the goodwill and fairness of the American people to set salaries for elected officials.
Elected officials think, nay, believe, they are better than average citizens and they prove it every time they pass a law that benefits them and excludes the citizens.
For example: Congress is not governed by the Social Security laws. If they were, do you think there would be a problem with Social Security?
Congress passes laws in virtually every session that binds the country’s citizens to the will and whim of the elected, but excludes the elected from the boundaries of those very same law.
Why do they think they can do that? Because they can and the people allow it. And, those that we put in office will continue to do so because the people of this country have become a pack of sheep, dutifully, blindly, following the bell sheep to the slaughter pens.
It is amazing to think that there are people out there who truly and honestly believe that slashing the Democratic majority in Congress will change one single thing in the way government is run.
It won’t. It will change the faces and positions of the main power brokers, but it will not change the way members of Congress enriches themselves on the backs of the taxpayers.
This is a trick question, now, so pay attention: Can you name one politician who went to Washington and returned home with less money than they went there with? Forget ending a sentence with a preposition! This is serious and grammar rules be damned.
The system – Demogogues, Republicrats, TeaHee Partiers … they are all the same, all spouting political pabulum and selling it as steak. And we keep paying steak prices for gruel.
Poor, ignorant, misguided, bamboozled … us.
Thursday, October 7, 2010
‘Generation gap’ or ‘logic skewed?’
I admit to entering the World of the Web later than many. I first got on the Internet in 1992, after accepting a job that requiring not only knowing what it was but how to maneuver in it.
As a research tool, there’s nothing better and the old investigative reporter / editor urges are best satisfied by a good, heapin’ helpin’ of googling.
I volunteered – or better said, my company volunteered me – to be a test dummy for a new way of receiving information while on the go: Internet via cell phone modem. That was in 1998.
I signed up for Facebook in ’06 and now admit to being a faddist. I don’t know why I signed up, and cheerfully acknowledge I have “friends” I don’t even know. But I am a horrible member of Facebook Nation.
I very seldom check my page, and, as my oldest daughter tells me, I relish in being a Phantom Facebooker. “You can not stay silent for months at a time,” she chided me one time on my page, “gallop in and make some snide comments and then disappear.”
Of course I can. It is what I do. It is my job.
The point is I don’t see the point in people telling me what they are eating for breakfast (“Cream of Wheat with fresh peaches.”), what meeting they are going to attend (“Rotary today. Again!”) or that they are “going to beddy-bye.”
I am tempted to jot down notes about bowel movements but I don’t want to write it, much less edit the durn thing.
Somehow, within the last 18 months, I started texting. I began texting by hating texting but, like brussell sprouts, I agreed to try the new art form of communication because, well, hey, as my son said, “Everyone is doing it.”
I’m not good at texting either, because after being in the writing profession in one way or another for 45-plus years I can’t send messages that are not grammatically correct.
Well, yes I can, and do frequently. My iPhone knows when someone is finger-challenged and has a program that “corrects” mis-strikes of the keyboard. That’s how a message I sent about a friend’s kidney “stone” came out “kindly store.”
A good friend sent a message that she wanted to meet me at the “intercourse.” I figured out it was “intersection” but regretted the fact I had to think about the “true” meaning rather than just accept the message as a divine gift.
Texting is becoming a real problem. Just ask the administrators in schools across the country.
It’s not only a time-consumer, it’s dumbing down our society.
According to a new survey out of Texas, more than 42 percent of teenagers say they text during class. Eighty percent of those kids say they have never gotten in trouble.
Two things wrong here: Cell phones allowed in classrooms and teachers who overlook the obvious.
And then there’s “text lingo.” Lol. u. b4. 2.
stpd. ignrnt. grmaticly ncorek.
What’s to do? Get the parents involved, naturally.
Wait, that might not work. The same survey revealed that almost 70 percent of students admitted to receiving text messages from parents while in class.
gsh. wat 2 do.
As a research tool, there’s nothing better and the old investigative reporter / editor urges are best satisfied by a good, heapin’ helpin’ of googling.
I volunteered – or better said, my company volunteered me – to be a test dummy for a new way of receiving information while on the go: Internet via cell phone modem. That was in 1998.
I signed up for Facebook in ’06 and now admit to being a faddist. I don’t know why I signed up, and cheerfully acknowledge I have “friends” I don’t even know. But I am a horrible member of Facebook Nation.
I very seldom check my page, and, as my oldest daughter tells me, I relish in being a Phantom Facebooker. “You can not stay silent for months at a time,” she chided me one time on my page, “gallop in and make some snide comments and then disappear.”
Of course I can. It is what I do. It is my job.
The point is I don’t see the point in people telling me what they are eating for breakfast (“Cream of Wheat with fresh peaches.”), what meeting they are going to attend (“Rotary today. Again!”) or that they are “going to beddy-bye.”
I am tempted to jot down notes about bowel movements but I don’t want to write it, much less edit the durn thing.
Somehow, within the last 18 months, I started texting. I began texting by hating texting but, like brussell sprouts, I agreed to try the new art form of communication because, well, hey, as my son said, “Everyone is doing it.”
I’m not good at texting either, because after being in the writing profession in one way or another for 45-plus years I can’t send messages that are not grammatically correct.
Well, yes I can, and do frequently. My iPhone knows when someone is finger-challenged and has a program that “corrects” mis-strikes of the keyboard. That’s how a message I sent about a friend’s kidney “stone” came out “kindly store.”
A good friend sent a message that she wanted to meet me at the “intercourse.” I figured out it was “intersection” but regretted the fact I had to think about the “true” meaning rather than just accept the message as a divine gift.
Texting is becoming a real problem. Just ask the administrators in schools across the country.
It’s not only a time-consumer, it’s dumbing down our society.
According to a new survey out of Texas, more than 42 percent of teenagers say they text during class. Eighty percent of those kids say they have never gotten in trouble.
Two things wrong here: Cell phones allowed in classrooms and teachers who overlook the obvious.
And then there’s “text lingo.” Lol. u. b4. 2.
stpd. ignrnt. grmaticly ncorek.
What’s to do? Get the parents involved, naturally.
Wait, that might not work. The same survey revealed that almost 70 percent of students admitted to receiving text messages from parents while in class.
gsh. wat 2 do.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
Say it ain't so!
It’s a common theme, but that doesn’t make it any less true: Abject stupidity has no boundaries.
Oh, the Colonel’s shame
Kentucky Fried Chicken, the folks that one time brought its customers the “side breast” in a cluck bucket (which was half a breast and part of the back), now has a new gimmick – Bunless Double Down sandwiches.
Of course, their marketing gurus had to come up with a catchy, memorable campaign. These marketing geniuses are paying college students to wear fitted sweatpants with “Double Down” in large letters across the posterior.
You guessed it! All of the students are female and comely, as my grandmother used to refer to as girls who were “pretty as all get-out.”
If this New Age marketing ploy works, look for the Colonel to be handing out halter tops to promote the company’s “Big, Bigger, Biggest Breasts” promotion.
Politicos expound
All you can see and hear these days are the words of would be politicians wanting to stay in Congress or go to Congress claiming they are for change for change’s sake. Change is needed, they decry in everything from health care to the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq to the welfare system to immigration to Social Security.
All most people want is for a politician to run on a single plank of an important platform: Congress shall pass no law that does not apply to members of the federal government, and make retroactive any laws which subvert the intent of this law.
Period.
Now, go forth and find someone running for election who will 1) Promise to support such a law, and 2) introduce such a bill and push it vigorously.
Good luck on finding any takers.
And, finally …
The way it now stands, the GOPers will regain control of the House, and possibly the Senate.
That will not solve a single problem plaguing this nation.
The Grand Opulent Partiers will only perpetuate the divisive culture of the House and Senate as party politics become even more prevalent and more ingrained in the political arena.
The Demagogues have the most ineffective leadership of any party in recent history. Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid are empty suits who have the political social skills of warthogs.
The GOP leadership – Mitch McConnell and his Cast of Incompetents – is no better.
Clean sweep and start over?
Anybody?
Everybody?
Oh, the Colonel’s shame
Kentucky Fried Chicken, the folks that one time brought its customers the “side breast” in a cluck bucket (which was half a breast and part of the back), now has a new gimmick – Bunless Double Down sandwiches.
Of course, their marketing gurus had to come up with a catchy, memorable campaign. These marketing geniuses are paying college students to wear fitted sweatpants with “Double Down” in large letters across the posterior.
You guessed it! All of the students are female and comely, as my grandmother used to refer to as girls who were “pretty as all get-out.”
If this New Age marketing ploy works, look for the Colonel to be handing out halter tops to promote the company’s “Big, Bigger, Biggest Breasts” promotion.
Politicos expound
All you can see and hear these days are the words of would be politicians wanting to stay in Congress or go to Congress claiming they are for change for change’s sake. Change is needed, they decry in everything from health care to the wars in Afghanistan and Iraq to the welfare system to immigration to Social Security.
All most people want is for a politician to run on a single plank of an important platform: Congress shall pass no law that does not apply to members of the federal government, and make retroactive any laws which subvert the intent of this law.
Period.
Now, go forth and find someone running for election who will 1) Promise to support such a law, and 2) introduce such a bill and push it vigorously.
Good luck on finding any takers.
And, finally …
The way it now stands, the GOPers will regain control of the House, and possibly the Senate.
That will not solve a single problem plaguing this nation.
The Grand Opulent Partiers will only perpetuate the divisive culture of the House and Senate as party politics become even more prevalent and more ingrained in the political arena.
The Demagogues have the most ineffective leadership of any party in recent history. Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid are empty suits who have the political social skills of warthogs.
The GOP leadership – Mitch McConnell and his Cast of Incompetents – is no better.
Clean sweep and start over?
Anybody?
Everybody?
Wednesday, September 22, 2010
Celebrities? Pshaw!
Somebody please explain to me how we changed from a country whose citizens embraced “heroes” to one who drools spittle after “celebrities?”
On second thought, never mind. The thought of Nimrod No. 1 trying to explain this cultural phenomenon to Nimrod No. 2 gives me a migraine.
Let me see if I can get this straight: Paris Hilton in a celebrity because:
A) She’s richer than a Saudi prince.
B) She’s pretty in an Anorexia Calendar pinup sort of way.
C) She can walk a red carpet for anything from the Oscars to Emmys to Charity Event for the Venetian Blind without turning her ankle in her four-inch heels.
D) All of the above.
Paris Hilton is an airhead with money. Yet, millions of Americans and members of the world community follow her every movement like she was a tennis ball at Centre Court at Wimbledon.
Just recently, she was found with cocaine in her purse, which she said wasn’t her purse, but was borrowed. She was arrested and used the photo opportunity at the police station to “vamp” it up.
Earlier photos of her show her carrying the exact same purse, so she admitted she lied. She finally ‘fessed up and pleaded guilty and received a year’s probation.
A few weeks later she flew to Japan and after six hours of questioning by immigration officials, she was denied entry into the country because of her drug conviction.
Yea! for Japan. At least one country has guts and brains when dealing with celebrity druggies.
Hilton is 29 years old and thinks the world owes her homage. She is the picture-perfect example of bimbo, and to show she is one, she doesn’t care what all the little people think of her.
She is not just a bimbo, however. She has so much money, a new term needs to be coined (pun intended) for her ilk: $imbo.
Speaking of celebrities …
Lindsay Lohan is a druggie alcoholic who used to be cute and could, quite literally, act herself out of a paper bag.
She’s had two DWI convictions and three visits to drug rehabilitation centers. Now, she’s going to jail because he cannot raise above her spoiled-brat persona and proved it by busting her probation requirements.
Lady Gaga is a female doofus who does a bad Madonna knockoff in her singing and stage presence. Her real name is Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta.
Forbes magazine listed her as fourth on the list of the 100 Most Powerful and Influential celebrities in the world.
Yikes! Even Forbes has bought into the celebrity-is-everything myth.
Just think: Celebrities wouldn’t be celebrities if everyone would just ignore them.
On second thought, never mind. The thought of Nimrod No. 1 trying to explain this cultural phenomenon to Nimrod No. 2 gives me a migraine.
Let me see if I can get this straight: Paris Hilton in a celebrity because:
A) She’s richer than a Saudi prince.
B) She’s pretty in an Anorexia Calendar pinup sort of way.
C) She can walk a red carpet for anything from the Oscars to Emmys to Charity Event for the Venetian Blind without turning her ankle in her four-inch heels.
D) All of the above.
Paris Hilton is an airhead with money. Yet, millions of Americans and members of the world community follow her every movement like she was a tennis ball at Centre Court at Wimbledon.
Just recently, she was found with cocaine in her purse, which she said wasn’t her purse, but was borrowed. She was arrested and used the photo opportunity at the police station to “vamp” it up.
Earlier photos of her show her carrying the exact same purse, so she admitted she lied. She finally ‘fessed up and pleaded guilty and received a year’s probation.
A few weeks later she flew to Japan and after six hours of questioning by immigration officials, she was denied entry into the country because of her drug conviction.
Yea! for Japan. At least one country has guts and brains when dealing with celebrity druggies.
Hilton is 29 years old and thinks the world owes her homage. She is the picture-perfect example of bimbo, and to show she is one, she doesn’t care what all the little people think of her.
She is not just a bimbo, however. She has so much money, a new term needs to be coined (pun intended) for her ilk: $imbo.
Speaking of celebrities …
Lindsay Lohan is a druggie alcoholic who used to be cute and could, quite literally, act herself out of a paper bag.
She’s had two DWI convictions and three visits to drug rehabilitation centers. Now, she’s going to jail because he cannot raise above her spoiled-brat persona and proved it by busting her probation requirements.
Lady Gaga is a female doofus who does a bad Madonna knockoff in her singing and stage presence. Her real name is Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta.
Forbes magazine listed her as fourth on the list of the 100 Most Powerful and Influential celebrities in the world.
Yikes! Even Forbes has bought into the celebrity-is-everything myth.
Just think: Celebrities wouldn’t be celebrities if everyone would just ignore them.
Friday, September 10, 2010
And it is written: The nutcases will rise up and protest
You gotta love those Good Book-lovin’ church people.
You know, the fervent but wrong-headed dingdongs who believe in freedom of religious expression as long as it’s connected to their core beliefs.
The intolerance of certain philosophical tendrils connected to major religions is astonishing to those who believe it’s okay to believe what you want to believe, that the Golden Rule should be applied in every situation and that my personal freedom to follow the religion of my own choosing is a right that should be extended to everyone.
Then, there is stripped nut-screw or two that throw that belief all asunder.
A small Florida church, with a congregation of less than 50 members, led by the not-so-reverend Terry Jones caused a worldwide brouhaha when he announced a Quran (Koran) burning. (It’s a small church filled with feather-headed know-nothings, for gosh sakes!)
It was Jones’ intention to send a message to the godless Muslims that there is only one holy book and it didn’t start with the letter Q, er, or K.
Presidents of countries – including Barak Obama – appealed to the preacher not to burn Muslim holy book. Government and military officials (including Gen. David Petraeus) and the FBI requested the plan be cancelled, noting that it might put lives of U.S. soldiers in further jeopardy in Muslim countries.
Jones first said he would not hold his burn-the-book rally, but then hedged and said he might. He didn’t say God is telling him what to do, but it is plan the god-publicity might have a hand in his final decision.
As sure as chickens don’t have lips, other headline seekers came out of the woodwork. Pastor Bob Old of some smaller-than-a-teacup Tennessee church said he was going to burn the Quran. His reason: “They worship a false god. They have a false text, a false prophet and a false scripture.”
Tolerance, get thee behind Old Bob and those of his ilk.
And a spokesman for the good ol’ Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka, Kansas, said if other churches don’t burn the Quran, they sure as hell will.
The Westboro clan is known for protesting at funerals of American soldiers.
Oh, and they believe that God is punishing Americans for being tolerant of homosexuals.
One thing is for certain: The fanatical side of the Muslim faith has a lot of company in the hairball section of life … the fanatical side of fundamental Christianity in America.
You know, the fervent but wrong-headed dingdongs who believe in freedom of religious expression as long as it’s connected to their core beliefs.
The intolerance of certain philosophical tendrils connected to major religions is astonishing to those who believe it’s okay to believe what you want to believe, that the Golden Rule should be applied in every situation and that my personal freedom to follow the religion of my own choosing is a right that should be extended to everyone.
Then, there is stripped nut-screw or two that throw that belief all asunder.
A small Florida church, with a congregation of less than 50 members, led by the not-so-reverend Terry Jones caused a worldwide brouhaha when he announced a Quran (Koran) burning. (It’s a small church filled with feather-headed know-nothings, for gosh sakes!)
It was Jones’ intention to send a message to the godless Muslims that there is only one holy book and it didn’t start with the letter Q, er, or K.
Presidents of countries – including Barak Obama – appealed to the preacher not to burn Muslim holy book. Government and military officials (including Gen. David Petraeus) and the FBI requested the plan be cancelled, noting that it might put lives of U.S. soldiers in further jeopardy in Muslim countries.
Jones first said he would not hold his burn-the-book rally, but then hedged and said he might. He didn’t say God is telling him what to do, but it is plan the god-publicity might have a hand in his final decision.
As sure as chickens don’t have lips, other headline seekers came out of the woodwork. Pastor Bob Old of some smaller-than-a-teacup Tennessee church said he was going to burn the Quran. His reason: “They worship a false god. They have a false text, a false prophet and a false scripture.”
Tolerance, get thee behind Old Bob and those of his ilk.
And a spokesman for the good ol’ Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka, Kansas, said if other churches don’t burn the Quran, they sure as hell will.
The Westboro clan is known for protesting at funerals of American soldiers.
Oh, and they believe that God is punishing Americans for being tolerant of homosexuals.
One thing is for certain: The fanatical side of the Muslim faith has a lot of company in the hairball section of life … the fanatical side of fundamental Christianity in America.
Thursday, September 2, 2010
Small-town thinking certainly not confined to small towns
It is a fact of STA (small-town American) that a few people run most local government or public entities – school districts, communities, counties. It is a truism with few exceptions.
Lonoke County and some of the towns that are included in it are perfect examples of how the intellectual gene pools have been drained to the point of single digit IQs making major decisions.
For years Lonoke County has been wrestling with trying to mesh the need for a new jail with incoming revenues. Finally, a couple of years ago, the county Quorum Court buckled down and approved the construction of a new jail.
That jail is scheduled to open in February 2011. Maybe.
The “maybe” comes as a result of small-brain / small-town thinking.
The county is building the jail, but apparently the cost of operating it – an estimated $1.3 million a year – was never fully considered nor explored.
The citizens of Lonoke County have elected officials – County Judge Charlie Troutman, Sheriff Jim Roberson, and Justices of the peace Mike Dolan, Mark Edwards, H.L. Lang, Tim Lemons, Roger Lynch, Alexis Malham, Jeannette Minton, Larry Odom, Bill Ryker, Adam Sims, Jodie Troutman, Barry Weathers and Sony Moery – that are supposed to be looking out after the interests of the citizens.
In this case, somebody – everybody! – apparently went to sleep.
It is the county judge’s primary responsibility to be the planner, organizer, coordinator and budget overseer for the county. The judge, running for re-election, apparently didn’t do his homework and advise the JPs on what would be needed. Neither did Roberson and neither did anyone else.
Where to come up with the money?
The county budget committee will have to solve that thorny problem. But it would behoove the county judge and the county sheriff and all the JPs to start thinking … and quit assuming.
A (quote) state-of-the-at jail (end quote) with insufficient money to operate it.
What a maroon of a situation!
Lonoke County and some of the towns that are included in it are perfect examples of how the intellectual gene pools have been drained to the point of single digit IQs making major decisions.
For years Lonoke County has been wrestling with trying to mesh the need for a new jail with incoming revenues. Finally, a couple of years ago, the county Quorum Court buckled down and approved the construction of a new jail.
That jail is scheduled to open in February 2011. Maybe.
The “maybe” comes as a result of small-brain / small-town thinking.
The county is building the jail, but apparently the cost of operating it – an estimated $1.3 million a year – was never fully considered nor explored.
The citizens of Lonoke County have elected officials – County Judge Charlie Troutman, Sheriff Jim Roberson, and Justices of the peace Mike Dolan, Mark Edwards, H.L. Lang, Tim Lemons, Roger Lynch, Alexis Malham, Jeannette Minton, Larry Odom, Bill Ryker, Adam Sims, Jodie Troutman, Barry Weathers and Sony Moery – that are supposed to be looking out after the interests of the citizens.
In this case, somebody – everybody! – apparently went to sleep.
It is the county judge’s primary responsibility to be the planner, organizer, coordinator and budget overseer for the county. The judge, running for re-election, apparently didn’t do his homework and advise the JPs on what would be needed. Neither did Roberson and neither did anyone else.
Where to come up with the money?
The county budget committee will have to solve that thorny problem. But it would behoove the county judge and the county sheriff and all the JPs to start thinking … and quit assuming.
A (quote) state-of-the-at jail (end quote) with insufficient money to operate it.
What a maroon of a situation!
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
Stealing a newspaper honest-to-goodness crime
As a 50-year veteran of newspaper wars, I prided myself on always being upfront and honest and truthful in all respects.
In writing more than 3,000 editorials and 2,000 columns in those years, I fully acknowledge the remote possibility of slipping up occasionally and bending the truth into a pretzel, if not busting it all to pieces.
I was talking “newspapering” recently with a long-time East Texas publisher and I was rambling on about something or other and he said, “What was the real scoop on the column you wrote about newspaper theft?”
Well, there were three actually and two happened in Marshall.
Any newspaper can expect a seven-to-eight percent theft from newspaper racks. That’s a pretty good universal number for the percent of thieves that read papers. That number is a given and is figured into circulation budgets.
Back in 1989, the rack thefts at the News Messenger skyrocketed one summer, with daily theft surpassing 20 percent. I teamed up with the circulation director and rigged up a sting: We took quarters out of racks, painted the edges with fingernail polish (Passionfruit, as a recall) and replaced them in the coin bins.
It was obvious the next day when we went through the rack collection bags that many of the doctored quarters were missing.
Before we had a chance to decide on a course of action, we adjourned to Burger King for lunch. Upon arrival, the manager welcomed us and said, “If you’d been a few minutes earlier, (a staff member) could have bought your lunch. He brought in enough quarters to feed the lunch crowd.”
Part of the lunch money included quarters with the edges painted in Passionfruit.
Back at the office, we confronted the circulation employee, had him return all the quarters (three bags full in his trunk), invited him to write a check for the difference of seven-eight percent of theft and what it had been running the past month … and terminated his employment.
Never did a firing feel so good.
The second such theft report in Marshall was even more bizarre.
The Messenger, every Sunday morning, experienced a 90 percent theft rate … at one rack. It was located front and center at a local restaurant.
One Sunday I staked out the restaurant and watched as a stream of customers came up to the rack and put in the correct change, opened the door and took out a handful of papers. There were originally 50 papers in the rack and only $5 in the coin collection tray when I checked.
I went inside the restaurant and went to a meeting room in the back. A herd of men were sitting, drinking coffee, slamming down eggs and reading stolen News Messengers.
Being as it was a pre-church meeting of a men’s Sunday School class, I announced I was there to pass the collection plate to get money for the papers that were inadvertently stolen from the rack outside. I passed a blue-striped plate and dollar bills were piled high in no time.
“Don’t make me come back here,” I said, smiling, as I exited. No more theft problems from that rack … ever.
Later in my career, the paper at which I was publishing sponsored a “Little Cutie” photo contest (or some such titled money-making gimmick), and the official entry blank was included in a full-page ad. Unlimited entries were allowed, but no copies were to be counted.
That stipulation guaranteed a high degree of theft. We went to the trouble of printing rack cards telling would-be thieves the penalties for stealing newspaper.
The theft that day surpassed 50 percent.
The following day I wrote a front-page column about the theft, and advised the readers that every single rack paper was printed with a special scan code that, if the entry form was turned in for the contest, could be pinpointed as stolen … and prosecution would be vigorously pursued.
The phone rang off the wall that day with readers saying their spousal units “might” have inadvertently picked up extra copies and they’d like to come down and make restitution. The front desk took in more than $200 that day.
In my convoluted thinking, sometimes white lies are justified. And, despite what newspaper professionals like to think, some readers are dumber than a box of hair.
In writing more than 3,000 editorials and 2,000 columns in those years, I fully acknowledge the remote possibility of slipping up occasionally and bending the truth into a pretzel, if not busting it all to pieces.
I was talking “newspapering” recently with a long-time East Texas publisher and I was rambling on about something or other and he said, “What was the real scoop on the column you wrote about newspaper theft?”
Well, there were three actually and two happened in Marshall.
Any newspaper can expect a seven-to-eight percent theft from newspaper racks. That’s a pretty good universal number for the percent of thieves that read papers. That number is a given and is figured into circulation budgets.
Back in 1989, the rack thefts at the News Messenger skyrocketed one summer, with daily theft surpassing 20 percent. I teamed up with the circulation director and rigged up a sting: We took quarters out of racks, painted the edges with fingernail polish (Passionfruit, as a recall) and replaced them in the coin bins.
It was obvious the next day when we went through the rack collection bags that many of the doctored quarters were missing.
Before we had a chance to decide on a course of action, we adjourned to Burger King for lunch. Upon arrival, the manager welcomed us and said, “If you’d been a few minutes earlier, (a staff member) could have bought your lunch. He brought in enough quarters to feed the lunch crowd.”
Part of the lunch money included quarters with the edges painted in Passionfruit.
Back at the office, we confronted the circulation employee, had him return all the quarters (three bags full in his trunk), invited him to write a check for the difference of seven-eight percent of theft and what it had been running the past month … and terminated his employment.
Never did a firing feel so good.
The second such theft report in Marshall was even more bizarre.
The Messenger, every Sunday morning, experienced a 90 percent theft rate … at one rack. It was located front and center at a local restaurant.
One Sunday I staked out the restaurant and watched as a stream of customers came up to the rack and put in the correct change, opened the door and took out a handful of papers. There were originally 50 papers in the rack and only $5 in the coin collection tray when I checked.
I went inside the restaurant and went to a meeting room in the back. A herd of men were sitting, drinking coffee, slamming down eggs and reading stolen News Messengers.
Being as it was a pre-church meeting of a men’s Sunday School class, I announced I was there to pass the collection plate to get money for the papers that were inadvertently stolen from the rack outside. I passed a blue-striped plate and dollar bills were piled high in no time.
“Don’t make me come back here,” I said, smiling, as I exited. No more theft problems from that rack … ever.
Later in my career, the paper at which I was publishing sponsored a “Little Cutie” photo contest (or some such titled money-making gimmick), and the official entry blank was included in a full-page ad. Unlimited entries were allowed, but no copies were to be counted.
That stipulation guaranteed a high degree of theft. We went to the trouble of printing rack cards telling would-be thieves the penalties for stealing newspaper.
The theft that day surpassed 50 percent.
The following day I wrote a front-page column about the theft, and advised the readers that every single rack paper was printed with a special scan code that, if the entry form was turned in for the contest, could be pinpointed as stolen … and prosecution would be vigorously pursued.
The phone rang off the wall that day with readers saying their spousal units “might” have inadvertently picked up extra copies and they’d like to come down and make restitution. The front desk took in more than $200 that day.
In my convoluted thinking, sometimes white lies are justified. And, despite what newspaper professionals like to think, some readers are dumber than a box of hair.
Friday, August 20, 2010
Circumference of Me
Fourth in a series
You’re terrified? Good!
If you are just starting off on your career journey, you are probably thinking every day that you are living on the edge of your abilities. Or, you may be a long-term employee thinking exactly the same thing.
You’re not.
If you are like a huge majority of workers, you are ensconced in a mile-wide comfort zone, not daring to step near the edge of your experience and abilities.
Growth is rarely gained by standing on solid ground.
You may not recognize it now, but your abilities will not grow and your experiences will be contracted unless you live on the edge. Taking steps – even tiny, baby steps – past the edge of your self-imposed comfort zone is absolutely necessary for personal and professional growth.
You know why you don’t venture closer to the edge: It’s a fear of failure, of biting off more than you can chew, of not gathering moss on your personal rolling stone, and a bevy of other clichés.
Fear of failure is not fatal; it’s also not conducive to progression within the office ranks. If you feel you are watching your life drain out of your frame of opportunity, you have two choices: Step back into more familiar surroundings and possibly stifle unseen opportunities, or step closer and get sucked away into a whole new universe of opportunity.
Of course, it’s frightening; going from the known to the unknown always is. We all like knowing what’s behind the veil of uncertainty in business or in life. Once you set foot in uncharted territory, you at a position where your heretofore-accepted limits are no longer valid.
It’s a time for reflection, reviewing goals and setting new ones, and working to mesh your unspoken dreams with your new reality. You have faced your fears and taken decisive action to change that, which is within your power to change.
You are not the same person you were before you made a conscientious decision to actively seek change. You chose evolution over sameolution. The fact remains, without experimentation, without exploring the depths of your potential, without expanding your knowledge base and business acumen, you cannot climb higher on the success ladder.
That which terrifies you also creates an opportunity for growth.
You’re terrified? Good!
If you are just starting off on your career journey, you are probably thinking every day that you are living on the edge of your abilities. Or, you may be a long-term employee thinking exactly the same thing.
You’re not.
If you are like a huge majority of workers, you are ensconced in a mile-wide comfort zone, not daring to step near the edge of your experience and abilities.
Growth is rarely gained by standing on solid ground.
You may not recognize it now, but your abilities will not grow and your experiences will be contracted unless you live on the edge. Taking steps – even tiny, baby steps – past the edge of your self-imposed comfort zone is absolutely necessary for personal and professional growth.
You know why you don’t venture closer to the edge: It’s a fear of failure, of biting off more than you can chew, of not gathering moss on your personal rolling stone, and a bevy of other clichés.
Fear of failure is not fatal; it’s also not conducive to progression within the office ranks. If you feel you are watching your life drain out of your frame of opportunity, you have two choices: Step back into more familiar surroundings and possibly stifle unseen opportunities, or step closer and get sucked away into a whole new universe of opportunity.
Of course, it’s frightening; going from the known to the unknown always is. We all like knowing what’s behind the veil of uncertainty in business or in life. Once you set foot in uncharted territory, you at a position where your heretofore-accepted limits are no longer valid.
It’s a time for reflection, reviewing goals and setting new ones, and working to mesh your unspoken dreams with your new reality. You have faced your fears and taken decisive action to change that, which is within your power to change.
You are not the same person you were before you made a conscientious decision to actively seek change. You chose evolution over sameolution. The fact remains, without experimentation, without exploring the depths of your potential, without expanding your knowledge base and business acumen, you cannot climb higher on the success ladder.
That which terrifies you also creates an opportunity for growth.
Some ‘WHOA!’ stories
A recent “Whoa!” writing effort pinpointed items in society that cause common sense advocates to stop and say, “Whoa!” A few emails indicated that "Whoa!" was a fun reading.
In all honesty, this type of computer fodder is as easy falling off a log. To those of the younger generation, it's easier than the beginner’s stage of Halo.
1) Whoa! In Canada, making a marijuana bust can be hazardous to one’s health. Royal Canadian Mounted Police raided a suspected marijuana “grow-ops” field in British Columbia and found it guarded … by at lest 14 bears. That’s “bears,” as in “people-eating mammals.”
The bears were kept in the vicinity of the marijuana crop by heapin’ helpin’s of dog food left especially for them. Also found at the property were a pot-belly pig and a raccoon. Officers said the swine and coon were friendly, and the bears were not considered a threat, and one even said the bears “were quite tame.”
In the U.S. pit bulldogs are guard animals of choice. Canadian marijuana growers obviously have a lot to learn.
2) Whoa! According to a poll (if you believe in polls and that they are fair and balanced), 24 percent of Americans believe President Barack Obama is a follower of the Muslim faith. The same number believe that George W. Bush attacked Iraq in good faith and Dick Cheney is not the devil.
3) Whoa! The last U.S. combat brigade is leaving Iraq. Good news, right? For those soldiers, absolutely. For the people of Iraq, it’s a different tale. But it’s a safe bet that tribal warfare will break out in that country within the next year and that another dictator of the Saddam Hussein ilk will be running the place.
One thing about the American military and the civilian leaders: They don’t mind making the same mistakes over and over and over ….
4) Whoa! Almost 400 million eggs have been recalled due to an outbreak of salmonella. First, lettuce, then strawberries, then broch…brocol…cauliflower, and now eggs.
Never had this problem back in the day before television and video games. Think about it.
5) Whoa! Hard line conservatives see nothing wrong with mass emailing anything derogatory about the president. It takes virtually no effort to go to snopes.com and find out whether or not such stories are true.
Yet many believe passing along untruths is somehow helping “the cause,” whatever that may be.
In all honesty, this type of computer fodder is as easy falling off a log. To those of the younger generation, it's easier than the beginner’s stage of Halo.
1) Whoa! In Canada, making a marijuana bust can be hazardous to one’s health. Royal Canadian Mounted Police raided a suspected marijuana “grow-ops” field in British Columbia and found it guarded … by at lest 14 bears. That’s “bears,” as in “people-eating mammals.”
The bears were kept in the vicinity of the marijuana crop by heapin’ helpin’s of dog food left especially for them. Also found at the property were a pot-belly pig and a raccoon. Officers said the swine and coon were friendly, and the bears were not considered a threat, and one even said the bears “were quite tame.”
In the U.S. pit bulldogs are guard animals of choice. Canadian marijuana growers obviously have a lot to learn.
2) Whoa! According to a poll (if you believe in polls and that they are fair and balanced), 24 percent of Americans believe President Barack Obama is a follower of the Muslim faith. The same number believe that George W. Bush attacked Iraq in good faith and Dick Cheney is not the devil.
3) Whoa! The last U.S. combat brigade is leaving Iraq. Good news, right? For those soldiers, absolutely. For the people of Iraq, it’s a different tale. But it’s a safe bet that tribal warfare will break out in that country within the next year and that another dictator of the Saddam Hussein ilk will be running the place.
One thing about the American military and the civilian leaders: They don’t mind making the same mistakes over and over and over ….
4) Whoa! Almost 400 million eggs have been recalled due to an outbreak of salmonella. First, lettuce, then strawberries, then broch…brocol…cauliflower, and now eggs.
Never had this problem back in the day before television and video games. Think about it.
5) Whoa! Hard line conservatives see nothing wrong with mass emailing anything derogatory about the president. It takes virtually no effort to go to snopes.com and find out whether or not such stories are true.
Yet many believe passing along untruths is somehow helping “the cause,” whatever that may be.
Thursday, August 12, 2010
An idea whose time has come
Are you sick and tired of the endless yammering about illegal aliens, how to control the slippery hordes, what to do with them when they are captured within the U.S. borders without proper papers, and how to pay for the get-the-hell-out program?
Well, join the verbal fray!
No one – no liberal, conservative, redneck immigrant hater or immigrant activist – has a clue how to solve the problem.
It’s time for a surefire solution. So, of course I have one, so here goes.
Surefire Solve-the-Illegal-Immigrant Plan
This plan includes four key steps:
1) Find every single illegal alien in the country by Christmas.
2) Throw their illegal hinnies out of the country.
3) Tell them if they come back, they will be horsewhipped with a piece of bobwire, regardless of age or gender. (I know it’s “barbed wire,” but I’m mad and don’t care.)
4) Fine every business that hires illegal aliens $1,000 per person for the first offense; second offense, the penalty escalates to $25,000 per illegal worker and confiscation of every flat screen TV and Lazyboy recliner the lawbreaker owns. The gummit would then sell the confiscated stuff and the revenue would go directly to reducing the national debt.
The second offense penalty would insure there would be no need for a third offense penalty.
Of course, the plan has problems, but so does every other plan thus far presented. Three of the four planks in the platform above are perfectly legal … about three more than any other plan thus far offered.
Acknowledging the bobwire beatings are a bit over the top, it is still proffered just so those aginners can throw something in the plan out.
So, let’s all push to get this plan passed.
And, when all the illegal immigrants are out of the country and the crops are not being picked, and the chickens are not being plucked, and the offerings at fast food restaurants are going bad, and buildings are not being cleaned, and landscaping chores are being left undone … we can all take a collective breath and be amazed at the abject stupidity that sometimes encapsulates the best of intentions.
The winds of change blow … well, sorta funny. As soon as people start getting hungry because there’s no fresh farm produce, or consumer goods escalate like the dickens because labor costs soars, there’ll be a solid clamoring to allow any ol’ immigrant who’ll work to make our lives easier and living it cheaper to cross the borders.
The situation would be laughable if it were not so darn pitiful.
Well, join the verbal fray!
No one – no liberal, conservative, redneck immigrant hater or immigrant activist – has a clue how to solve the problem.
It’s time for a surefire solution. So, of course I have one, so here goes.
Surefire Solve-the-Illegal-Immigrant Plan
This plan includes four key steps:
1) Find every single illegal alien in the country by Christmas.
2) Throw their illegal hinnies out of the country.
3) Tell them if they come back, they will be horsewhipped with a piece of bobwire, regardless of age or gender. (I know it’s “barbed wire,” but I’m mad and don’t care.)
4) Fine every business that hires illegal aliens $1,000 per person for the first offense; second offense, the penalty escalates to $25,000 per illegal worker and confiscation of every flat screen TV and Lazyboy recliner the lawbreaker owns. The gummit would then sell the confiscated stuff and the revenue would go directly to reducing the national debt.
The second offense penalty would insure there would be no need for a third offense penalty.
Of course, the plan has problems, but so does every other plan thus far presented. Three of the four planks in the platform above are perfectly legal … about three more than any other plan thus far offered.
Acknowledging the bobwire beatings are a bit over the top, it is still proffered just so those aginners can throw something in the plan out.
So, let’s all push to get this plan passed.
And, when all the illegal immigrants are out of the country and the crops are not being picked, and the chickens are not being plucked, and the offerings at fast food restaurants are going bad, and buildings are not being cleaned, and landscaping chores are being left undone … we can all take a collective breath and be amazed at the abject stupidity that sometimes encapsulates the best of intentions.
The winds of change blow … well, sorta funny. As soon as people start getting hungry because there’s no fresh farm produce, or consumer goods escalate like the dickens because labor costs soars, there’ll be a solid clamoring to allow any ol’ immigrant who’ll work to make our lives easier and living it cheaper to cross the borders.
The situation would be laughable if it were not so darn pitiful.
Friday, August 6, 2010
Gimme spam!!
I’m probably one of only a handful of people who enjoy getting spam. The email kind, not the canned meat.
While both can be nasty, scammers can be fun if you like playing with idiots who think plying their con games on the Internet is fun.
For more than three years I have been corresponding with scammers from a score of countries and find it quite interesting to see what motivates them. Well, actually, what motivates them is easy: Money. But hooking them into a scheme of my choosing can be more fun that braiding a box of multi-hued hair.
The most interesting thing about foreign scammers is that they do not know much about American culture, television icons, holidays or religions. I have related how I could not send money on a certain day because of the National Sucker Day Observances, or how I had to meet with Pastor Ernest Borgnine of the Hairy Nest Pentacostal Church in Janehathaway, Arkansas to discuss my ‘truss” fund.
They believe me when I relate how I was injured in an accident involving a mini-van of lawyers going to a Tort Convention, or de-legged by a runaway auger drilling for corn oil, or how I went to the circus and a clown car jumped the railing and whopped the crowd.
They believe my daughter is named Vienna Sousage Smith or Dorito Chippette Smith or Suzette Smith Saliva, and my Swedish nurse is Gotchme Bigguns, and my business secretary is Pepito Bismol.
All they care about is getting some money for myriad reasons – usually shipping a truckload of jewels or security bonds, or valuable coins, bank transfer information.
Occasionally, a sick scammer claims to have died, and their barrister/lawyer takes up the cause. Countering with my own lawyer – Duke Wayne, Sonny Bono, Henry Winkler, et al – is a good way keep an even playing field.
Do I ever receive anything from the scammers? One day the mail brought in more than $385,000 in fraudulent money orders – in $2,000 and $3,000 demoninations – from Wal-Mart, Circle K and some convenience store chain from the Northeast. I notified the FBI and the nice lady agent to whom I reported the scam was not enthusiastic. She advised me to burn the money orders.
I am planning on handing them out as party favors at some point in the future.
Over the past year or so I have received checks in various amounts -- $196,000, $52,538, $98,000 – and all are official checks on real companies. In every instance, they could be cashed with no questions asked … until law officers showed up at your door with engraved handcuffs.
The “hook” for the scammers is that they want you to deposit the checks and send them anywhere from 20 to 50 percent of the deposited money, which you are supposed to transfer to a foreign bank. And, you keep the rest for your trouble.
Simple. And illegal.
It is estimated that more than $3 billion a year is bilked from U.S. citizens from such scams.
If the scammers would just learn who Ernest Borgnine was or know that Milburn Drysdale was a TV character, not a real banker, think how much more time they would have to skim more money from their greedy targets.
As for those $2,000 and $3,000 fraudulent money orders? I am planning on handing them out as party favors at some point in the future.
While both can be nasty, scammers can be fun if you like playing with idiots who think plying their con games on the Internet is fun.
For more than three years I have been corresponding with scammers from a score of countries and find it quite interesting to see what motivates them. Well, actually, what motivates them is easy: Money. But hooking them into a scheme of my choosing can be more fun that braiding a box of multi-hued hair.
The most interesting thing about foreign scammers is that they do not know much about American culture, television icons, holidays or religions. I have related how I could not send money on a certain day because of the National Sucker Day Observances, or how I had to meet with Pastor Ernest Borgnine of the Hairy Nest Pentacostal Church in Janehathaway, Arkansas to discuss my ‘truss” fund.
They believe me when I relate how I was injured in an accident involving a mini-van of lawyers going to a Tort Convention, or de-legged by a runaway auger drilling for corn oil, or how I went to the circus and a clown car jumped the railing and whopped the crowd.
They believe my daughter is named Vienna Sousage Smith or Dorito Chippette Smith or Suzette Smith Saliva, and my Swedish nurse is Gotchme Bigguns, and my business secretary is Pepito Bismol.
All they care about is getting some money for myriad reasons – usually shipping a truckload of jewels or security bonds, or valuable coins, bank transfer information.
Occasionally, a sick scammer claims to have died, and their barrister/lawyer takes up the cause. Countering with my own lawyer – Duke Wayne, Sonny Bono, Henry Winkler, et al – is a good way keep an even playing field.
Do I ever receive anything from the scammers? One day the mail brought in more than $385,000 in fraudulent money orders – in $2,000 and $3,000 demoninations – from Wal-Mart, Circle K and some convenience store chain from the Northeast. I notified the FBI and the nice lady agent to whom I reported the scam was not enthusiastic. She advised me to burn the money orders.
I am planning on handing them out as party favors at some point in the future.
Over the past year or so I have received checks in various amounts -- $196,000, $52,538, $98,000 – and all are official checks on real companies. In every instance, they could be cashed with no questions asked … until law officers showed up at your door with engraved handcuffs.
The “hook” for the scammers is that they want you to deposit the checks and send them anywhere from 20 to 50 percent of the deposited money, which you are supposed to transfer to a foreign bank. And, you keep the rest for your trouble.
Simple. And illegal.
It is estimated that more than $3 billion a year is bilked from U.S. citizens from such scams.
If the scammers would just learn who Ernest Borgnine was or know that Milburn Drysdale was a TV character, not a real banker, think how much more time they would have to skim more money from their greedy targets.
As for those $2,000 and $3,000 fraudulent money orders? I am planning on handing them out as party favors at some point in the future.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
Believe it! World is crazier than ever
How crazy is this old world?
Crazy is as crazy does.
The following are “WHOA” moments, you know, those events that cause people with common sense to go “whoa” and shake their collective heads in disbelief.
WHOA! 1: A carnival recently came under political and judicial heat for having a dart-throwing game. The object of the throwing darts? A photo of President Obama. The very least the vendor could have done was have a photo alongside of Mitch McConnell. Give the carnival-goers a choice, for gosh sakes.
WHOA! 2: A New Jersey block gathering, part of the National Night Out anti-crime project, was the scene of a murder. A 39-year-old man was arguing with another party-goer and was shot in the head. Seems like the shooter didn’t get the anti-violence memo. There is no report that when he was apprehended he said, “Opps. My bad!”
WHOA! 3: Social Security is in the red. Seriously. But all the SS-drawing Baby Boomers don’t have to panic just yet. There’s enough money in the trust fund to last a while longer. If there’s not, the application line for Wal-Mart greeters is going to lap the parking lot.
WHOA! 4: The U.S. Postal Service posted (pun intended) a $3.5 billion loss in the last fiscal year. How can that be? FedEx and UPS are making money, but the ugly stepchild of the U.S. Gummit loses more money than the entire payroll of the Miami Heat? Has the government never heard of “house-cleaning” to turn a business around?
WHOA! 5: The law is the law, dadgummit. And any lawbreaker should be punished. Right? Even if the lawbreaker is a seven-year-old girl. Right?
Julie Murphy of Oregon City was cited by county inspector for not having a business license … for her lemonade stand. The temporary license cost $120, which, at 50 cents a glass, means that Julie would have to sell … let’s see, divide the five into the 2 and carry the 10… no that’s not right …. Anyway, she’d have to sell a bunch of durn lemonade.
The stupid public officials actually used “public safety” as the reason for shutting down the entrepreneurial tike.
Which brings me to …
WHOA! 6: It was about 1986 at the FireAnt Festival in Marshall. I was strutting around doing my chairman thing, glad-handing vendors and watching Patti at the Chamber and Janice McPherson do all the work, when I was buzzed about an emergency on the south side of the courthouse.
Seems the county health gomer was telling a Karnack vendor she had to shut down her stand. Her muscadine and pawpaw jelly weren’t prepared in an approved kitchen and “public health was at risk.”
I couldn’t believe the public servant was serious but, Shoot!, he assured me he was. I tried to reason with him, argue with him, even told him to go check on real lawbreakers, but he wouldn’t budge.
So, as my friends (and my detractors) know, I pulled a “George.”
Asking the lady how much merchandise she had on hand, she quickly did a count and I wrote her a check for $320 dollars or some such and hired her at $5 an hour to “sell” my merchandise for the remainder of the festival.
Then I turned to the health inspector: “This merchandise is now mine. I’m responsible for it. And I’m going to sell it through my contract agent, whom I am relieving of any legal responsibility for its sale.
“Issue your stupid citation or arrest me because we’re not shutting down.”
As he thought about it, I said quietly, “I can just see the headline in the News Mess: Publisher turns jelly seller, cited by county official.”
With his face the color of muscadine jelly, he stomped off the square.
I ended up with about 12 jars of jelly at the end of the festival and ate on that batch for the next four or five years.
Best durn jelly I ever had, too.
Had the sweet taste of righteousness tinted with just a hint of so-there!
Crazy is as crazy does.
The following are “WHOA” moments, you know, those events that cause people with common sense to go “whoa” and shake their collective heads in disbelief.
WHOA! 1: A carnival recently came under political and judicial heat for having a dart-throwing game. The object of the throwing darts? A photo of President Obama. The very least the vendor could have done was have a photo alongside of Mitch McConnell. Give the carnival-goers a choice, for gosh sakes.
WHOA! 2: A New Jersey block gathering, part of the National Night Out anti-crime project, was the scene of a murder. A 39-year-old man was arguing with another party-goer and was shot in the head. Seems like the shooter didn’t get the anti-violence memo. There is no report that when he was apprehended he said, “Opps. My bad!”
WHOA! 3: Social Security is in the red. Seriously. But all the SS-drawing Baby Boomers don’t have to panic just yet. There’s enough money in the trust fund to last a while longer. If there’s not, the application line for Wal-Mart greeters is going to lap the parking lot.
WHOA! 4: The U.S. Postal Service posted (pun intended) a $3.5 billion loss in the last fiscal year. How can that be? FedEx and UPS are making money, but the ugly stepchild of the U.S. Gummit loses more money than the entire payroll of the Miami Heat? Has the government never heard of “house-cleaning” to turn a business around?
WHOA! 5: The law is the law, dadgummit. And any lawbreaker should be punished. Right? Even if the lawbreaker is a seven-year-old girl. Right?
Julie Murphy of Oregon City was cited by county inspector for not having a business license … for her lemonade stand. The temporary license cost $120, which, at 50 cents a glass, means that Julie would have to sell … let’s see, divide the five into the 2 and carry the 10… no that’s not right …. Anyway, she’d have to sell a bunch of durn lemonade.
The stupid public officials actually used “public safety” as the reason for shutting down the entrepreneurial tike.
Which brings me to …
WHOA! 6: It was about 1986 at the FireAnt Festival in Marshall. I was strutting around doing my chairman thing, glad-handing vendors and watching Patti at the Chamber and Janice McPherson do all the work, when I was buzzed about an emergency on the south side of the courthouse.
Seems the county health gomer was telling a Karnack vendor she had to shut down her stand. Her muscadine and pawpaw jelly weren’t prepared in an approved kitchen and “public health was at risk.”
I couldn’t believe the public servant was serious but, Shoot!, he assured me he was. I tried to reason with him, argue with him, even told him to go check on real lawbreakers, but he wouldn’t budge.
So, as my friends (and my detractors) know, I pulled a “George.”
Asking the lady how much merchandise she had on hand, she quickly did a count and I wrote her a check for $320 dollars or some such and hired her at $5 an hour to “sell” my merchandise for the remainder of the festival.
Then I turned to the health inspector: “This merchandise is now mine. I’m responsible for it. And I’m going to sell it through my contract agent, whom I am relieving of any legal responsibility for its sale.
“Issue your stupid citation or arrest me because we’re not shutting down.”
As he thought about it, I said quietly, “I can just see the headline in the News Mess: Publisher turns jelly seller, cited by county official.”
With his face the color of muscadine jelly, he stomped off the square.
I ended up with about 12 jars of jelly at the end of the festival and ate on that batch for the next four or five years.
Best durn jelly I ever had, too.
Had the sweet taste of righteousness tinted with just a hint of so-there!
Friday, July 30, 2010
Circumference of Me - Part 3 of a multi-part series
By George S. Smith and Steve Burnett
3 Know thyself
Who are you? Why are you doing what you’re doing? Are you happy doing it, and, if not, why are you doing it?
Okay, so you work for a business or association and you have a five-word title, or aspire to having one – manager/senior manager/director/vice president and general manager of something and something. The company has you lined up to be on an MBO plan and, sometime in the future you may be eligible for a car allowance, stock options … and more.
You have arrived. Or plan to do so quickly.
Before you get too cocky, check your image in the mirror. Do you see an aura of success (regal purple with gold piping, perhaps) encapsulating your body? A competent manager with a reassuring smile that bespeaks volumes of positive accolades from co-workers and high-level management? Confidence you can sell by the pound?
Let’s take it for granted: You are a confident manager or well on your way of becoming one. Your walk, talk, and mannerisms portray success for all to see.
Look at me! Please! Now! I am the picture of success! If not yet, soon!
But, confidence aside, you have weaknesses. If this is a revelation, you are already in trouble. Everyone has weaknesses.
If asked to name your Top 5 weaknesses, personality or professional traits that could prohibit you from climbing the tenuous business ladder more than a few additional rungs, what would you say? Have you given any thought to your weaknesses and, if so, are you confident enough to voice them aloud? (In a room with a closed door doesn’t count.)
If your idea is a good one … will you let it be known?
More importantly, do others – co-workers, supervisor, top management – know your weaknesses? Are they waiting/hoping that you have what it takes to minimize weaknesses or turn them into strengths? Or, do they simply not care one way or the other?
Far too many managers don’t take the time, nor have the inclination, to focus on the personal traits that have helped carve the personal career path that led to their present position. And, those same managers are usually not interested in a self-analysis to determine if those basic traits will allow them to reach future personal and professional goals.
To be a success, a self-analysis is not only a fundamental right of passage, but also a necessity. There is nothing tougher than for a person to go through a personal self-analysis. The mere suggestion may be a scary as thinking about sliding down a giant razorblade naked.
Some psychologists claim an objective self-analysis is impossible. It is in their best interest to think that and promote that premise. The psychologists are right in one respect: There are people who can’t see their own weaknesses; therefore they believe they don’t exist. They are wrong, but these are the same people who won’t admit to ever making a mistake.
While an extremely uncomfortable undertaking, looking at one’s self with an objective eye in the psyche mirror is possible. It takes a strong heart, a stronger will, a solid mind, a strong sense of self-worth, and the understanding how stripping away personal veneer can be a cathartic experience, not an embarrassing one.
Take a chance, strip away your emotional veneer and see what lies underneath.
Spend the time and emotional commitment to analyze yourself before someone with a bigger title does it for you.
Next: You’re terrified? Good!
3 Know thyself
Who are you? Why are you doing what you’re doing? Are you happy doing it, and, if not, why are you doing it?
Okay, so you work for a business or association and you have a five-word title, or aspire to having one – manager/senior manager/director/vice president and general manager of something and something. The company has you lined up to be on an MBO plan and, sometime in the future you may be eligible for a car allowance, stock options … and more.
You have arrived. Or plan to do so quickly.
Before you get too cocky, check your image in the mirror. Do you see an aura of success (regal purple with gold piping, perhaps) encapsulating your body? A competent manager with a reassuring smile that bespeaks volumes of positive accolades from co-workers and high-level management? Confidence you can sell by the pound?
Let’s take it for granted: You are a confident manager or well on your way of becoming one. Your walk, talk, and mannerisms portray success for all to see.
Look at me! Please! Now! I am the picture of success! If not yet, soon!
But, confidence aside, you have weaknesses. If this is a revelation, you are already in trouble. Everyone has weaknesses.
If asked to name your Top 5 weaknesses, personality or professional traits that could prohibit you from climbing the tenuous business ladder more than a few additional rungs, what would you say? Have you given any thought to your weaknesses and, if so, are you confident enough to voice them aloud? (In a room with a closed door doesn’t count.)
If your idea is a good one … will you let it be known?
More importantly, do others – co-workers, supervisor, top management – know your weaknesses? Are they waiting/hoping that you have what it takes to minimize weaknesses or turn them into strengths? Or, do they simply not care one way or the other?
Far too many managers don’t take the time, nor have the inclination, to focus on the personal traits that have helped carve the personal career path that led to their present position. And, those same managers are usually not interested in a self-analysis to determine if those basic traits will allow them to reach future personal and professional goals.
To be a success, a self-analysis is not only a fundamental right of passage, but also a necessity. There is nothing tougher than for a person to go through a personal self-analysis. The mere suggestion may be a scary as thinking about sliding down a giant razorblade naked.
Some psychologists claim an objective self-analysis is impossible. It is in their best interest to think that and promote that premise. The psychologists are right in one respect: There are people who can’t see their own weaknesses; therefore they believe they don’t exist. They are wrong, but these are the same people who won’t admit to ever making a mistake.
While an extremely uncomfortable undertaking, looking at one’s self with an objective eye in the psyche mirror is possible. It takes a strong heart, a stronger will, a solid mind, a strong sense of self-worth, and the understanding how stripping away personal veneer can be a cathartic experience, not an embarrassing one.
Take a chance, strip away your emotional veneer and see what lies underneath.
Spend the time and emotional commitment to analyze yourself before someone with a bigger title does it for you.
Next: You’re terrified? Good!
Circumference of Me -- Part 2 in a multi-part series
By George S. Smith and Steve Burnett
Positives from negatives
There are times in everyone’s life when things don’t make sense. Familiar sights and sounds seem out of focus and muffled; systems which only yesterday were business, non-profit association, education, and corporate comforters miraculously resemble a patchwork quilt with the Drunkard’s Path design; policies which once seemingly protected you are suddenly – like the cat of homespun legend – stealing your breath away and smothering your creativity.
Sometimes when something is broken, the pieces are better than the whole.
When your personal world – your professional portrait, familiar processes at home and work, predictable market trends – breaks apart, when conflicts diminish reason, take comfort in the fact that there are pieces always left. Don’t discard those pieces, don’t throw away relationships that might prove helpful to your and your business; they are a part of you. Take the pieces and play with them. Put them back together to create a new picture that will benefit the changed you. Take the pieces and make a you collage.
Take a giant step in the direction of change: Put your brain in neutral. Of course, it’s hard to do. Your brain does not normally recognize commands to go into neutral mode because that makes no sense. The brain is a pattern-loving organ, and with your brain in neutral, there are no thought-patterns being created. Your thinking self yearns to make sense of events, people, and opportunities; it wants to reason its way out of an economic ditch, catastrophic relationship, or a job that simply sucks.
Putting your brain in neutral does not mean “not thinking.” It means selective thinking about things that, when viewed from your personal or professional lives, are “neutral.”
One manager confided that her personal neutral mode consisted of closing her eyes in a quiet moment and concentrating on a single thought: A turtle walking at the edge of a tranquil pond. In a personal form of meditation or bio-feedback, the woman simply takes a minute or less and “walks” the turtle in her mind – silently saying “Turtle. Turtle. Turtle.” with each step. This form of non-sense calms and relaxes this particular manager, enabling her to put her creative brain in neutral and resulting in a refreshing pause.
It’s the paradox of non-sense that, through this neutral process, it’s possible to direct your brain to find to new patterns and conclusions. The exercise can generate new thoughts that inspire mental-inventions and creates a personal need to succeed despite all obstacles.
Now is as good a time as any to explode yourself with mental dynamite and reinvent you. It’s the perfect time for reinvestment of creative energy, setting new goals, dreaming new dreams, strengthening your personal will, and reorganizing your organizational structure to find a positive use for the tired, old, broken and scattered pieces of the truisms of your yesterday.
When things break – in your personal life, in your job, in the market – huge amounts of negative and positive energy are released. The energy has to go somewhere. You have choices on where to direct the energy, but doesn’t it make sense to direct it to enhance the positive side of life?
That’s the premise and reason for the Circumference of Me, directing stray thoughts into a living, breathing, growing example of how you can change your life through the appreciation and development of a very special personal tool: Personal thought leadership.
Take charge of your thoughts. Take charge of your life.
Next: Know thyself
Positives from negatives
There are times in everyone’s life when things don’t make sense. Familiar sights and sounds seem out of focus and muffled; systems which only yesterday were business, non-profit association, education, and corporate comforters miraculously resemble a patchwork quilt with the Drunkard’s Path design; policies which once seemingly protected you are suddenly – like the cat of homespun legend – stealing your breath away and smothering your creativity.
Sometimes when something is broken, the pieces are better than the whole.
When your personal world – your professional portrait, familiar processes at home and work, predictable market trends – breaks apart, when conflicts diminish reason, take comfort in the fact that there are pieces always left. Don’t discard those pieces, don’t throw away relationships that might prove helpful to your and your business; they are a part of you. Take the pieces and play with them. Put them back together to create a new picture that will benefit the changed you. Take the pieces and make a you collage.
Take a giant step in the direction of change: Put your brain in neutral. Of course, it’s hard to do. Your brain does not normally recognize commands to go into neutral mode because that makes no sense. The brain is a pattern-loving organ, and with your brain in neutral, there are no thought-patterns being created. Your thinking self yearns to make sense of events, people, and opportunities; it wants to reason its way out of an economic ditch, catastrophic relationship, or a job that simply sucks.
Putting your brain in neutral does not mean “not thinking.” It means selective thinking about things that, when viewed from your personal or professional lives, are “neutral.”
One manager confided that her personal neutral mode consisted of closing her eyes in a quiet moment and concentrating on a single thought: A turtle walking at the edge of a tranquil pond. In a personal form of meditation or bio-feedback, the woman simply takes a minute or less and “walks” the turtle in her mind – silently saying “Turtle. Turtle. Turtle.” with each step. This form of non-sense calms and relaxes this particular manager, enabling her to put her creative brain in neutral and resulting in a refreshing pause.
It’s the paradox of non-sense that, through this neutral process, it’s possible to direct your brain to find to new patterns and conclusions. The exercise can generate new thoughts that inspire mental-inventions and creates a personal need to succeed despite all obstacles.
Now is as good a time as any to explode yourself with mental dynamite and reinvent you. It’s the perfect time for reinvestment of creative energy, setting new goals, dreaming new dreams, strengthening your personal will, and reorganizing your organizational structure to find a positive use for the tired, old, broken and scattered pieces of the truisms of your yesterday.
When things break – in your personal life, in your job, in the market – huge amounts of negative and positive energy are released. The energy has to go somewhere. You have choices on where to direct the energy, but doesn’t it make sense to direct it to enhance the positive side of life?
That’s the premise and reason for the Circumference of Me, directing stray thoughts into a living, breathing, growing example of how you can change your life through the appreciation and development of a very special personal tool: Personal thought leadership.
Take charge of your thoughts. Take charge of your life.
Next: Know thyself
Circumference of Me -- Part 1 of a Multi-part Series
George S. Smith Steve Burnett
Author bios
Steve Burnett, president of the Burnett Group, a management, brand, and communications consulting company in New York City, is a professor of communications design at the Pratt Institute. His company’s clients are a Who’s Who of global brand names. He’s also an accomplished artist, and is creator of the “whimsy” style of art.
George S. Smith, director of communications services for Topcon Positioning Systems, is a former newspaper editor and publisher, community development consultant, and national motivational speaker. He has taught management courses at the college level and has been a certified online instructor in strategic management and critical thinking.
Burnett and Smith are co-founders of Whimsy Creations, LLC, a firm that develops unique fund-raising products that involves mixing “whimsy” drawings and poetry for small, non-profit organizations.
They say …
Joe Ford
Former Chairman and CEO, Alltel Corporation
Partner, Westrock Capital Partners
Just when you thought you had seen the latest and greatest message about what steps people need to take to become great managers, along comes the Circumference of Me.
If you have read other books on management theory or practice, fine, but you need to read this one. It has been my pleasure to work with both of the authors on projects ranging from global communications to brand awareness to internal and external communications practices. They do not just talk a good game; they know their business.
Consider yourself warned: This is not your typical management book. The Circumference of Me is about … you.
It does not present the safe-at-all-costs practical side of corporations, management practices, and expected behaviors for employees. There is no do-this-or-else business theory included, nor is there the predictable management truisms speckled with visual word-posters designed to build Spirit, Enthusiasm, Motivation, Optimism, or Team Building.
Circumference of Me will give you a view of the various steps necessary to rise to the challenges of being a manager -- or a better manager – and create the environment for you to realize your potential through its unique presentation and content.
Kevin Dial
Director of Operations
CBIZ Medical Management Professionals
The Circumference of Me is a classic example of pull/push marketing. Most of us know – or think we do – what we want and who we are; it is the stopping to look and the prompting and pulling out of us that is usually needed more than the simple act of pushing an idea into us.
There is a fine line between teaching and shaping someone’s understanding and motivating their will to act. I believe an effective teacher has to do both and there is a nice balance in the lessons of this book.
There are two words to describe this book: Fresh and creative. The illustrations are directly connected to the writing and help the reader create a mental image.
Circumference has many mini-lessons about life and about business, to not only think about, but to remember and use.
This book creates a pathway to dream about things that really stir us up and make us better at what we do and not just create traditional goals. Encouraging that in people is very important and Circumference of Me shouts that message loud and clear.
John Trotti
Editor
Grading & Excavation magazine
At first, Circumference of Me seems to be an awful lot to chew, particularly for one who has "been there and done that" with varying degrees of success and satisfaction.
It was hard for me to want to let go of one thought and move on to the next. This is validation of the idea that "It's not a goal...it's a mission, so it's the journey that counts."
Smith and Burnett have found a way to draw the reader into their concept of management philosophy without a bunch of guideposts. Instead, the reader enters as a wanderer and quickly finds himself engaged.
Circumference reminds me of Rome, a city where you can walk the same streets day after day, a hundred times, and never become jaded...never feel that it's lost some of its freshness.
While it reminds me of areas where I've missed the mark, it also lets me check off the things I've done correctly; both are good exercises for the mind and spirit.
John Wallace
Retired director - Verizon Communications
Welcome to the world of George Smith and Steve Burnett-- where whimsy consistently opens the door to profound and practical insights.
Burnett crafts illustrations that are simple yet stunning, capturing the essence of chapters in minimal brush strokes. Smith paints word pictures like few others can, exploring life circumstances from a unique and insightful perspective.
The chapter-ending takeaways offer common sense that is, unfortunately, far too uncommon in business and government today.
Just read it. Put it into practice. You will be glad you did.
Bobbie Jean McCarty
Elementary Principal
Commerce (Texas) Independent School District
As schools have sought to meet the public demand for more accountability, educators have searched for ways to merge the principles of management in the business world with that of the educational realm. During 40 plus years as an educator and administrator I have read numerous “management” books and had yet to find one that could be so applicable to the educational community.
Circumference of Me is an exception to this. Build upon the principle of self-development and the dynamics of relationships, the authors have managed to connect the principles of business while reflecting the central component of effective educational institutions: First you teach the child. Without knowing and being comfortable with oneself, an educator cannot reach the heart of a student. The ability to have effective interpersonal skills impacts and extends beyond the classroom to the staff, parents, and community.
The whimsical drawings are wonderful for those who need more than the written word to grasp the total meaning of the thought. As any good piece of children’s literature, the illustrations should reflect the words of the author. The drawings by Steve Burnett are more than illustrations; they are intuitive and thought provoking in and of themselves.
Circumference of Me is an easy-to-read book, perfect for those who feel rushed, with great and lasting application to those in the field of education.
SECTIONS
Foreword
Circumference of Me
Unconditional Wisdom
Unconventional Wisdom
Processed Advice
Afterword
Foreword
Each chapter of The Circumference of Me was designed with someone just like you in mind, someone who wants to explore the realistic depths of his or her abilities, to think not only about realities but also about perceptions and how they influence our lives.
Circumference is designed to provide guideposts to enable you to improve your business self, enhance the understanding and expansion of your leadership abilities, develop a sense of the importance of the synergies that are possible if your business and personal lives are in sync, and to be as successful and personally fulfilled in whatever business you choose.
It is, in a single phrase, a take-away tool kit of ideas. Regardless of whether you own your own business, or where you now sit in a professional organizational chart, or if you are just starting a professional career, you will take something positive away from the Circumference of Me.
There are fifty-five chapters in this book and some of them – guaranteed! – will speak directly to you. As you peruse the Content Page, or check out the individual chapter headlines, you will quickly be able to identify the chapters that interest you at this point in your career.
When you start reading the book from the front, or when you start selecting chapters to read at random, you will begin to ask yourself questions:
Why did this chapter heading interest me?
What is the intent of the chapter and how can I use it?
Will this chapter give me advice to advance my career? Make me a better employee?
Better manager?
What was the take-away lesson?
Would that work in my organization?
What would people think if I tried that at work?
This book is not a cure-all for the Business Blahs. It is only one small piece in the multiple building blocks that make up your life. The individual chapters are tools to put into your business or association tool belt and pull out when needed. It is designed not to change the way you view your professional world, but to create a need to think about your business world and explore different options that might lead to success.
With its mixture of unique visuals and around-the-corner word images, Circumference of Me encourages you to take the different shapes and parts that appeal to you so you can think about you in a different way. You can take familiar patterns in your life and, using the ideas in this book, discover the possibilities that exist when you change integral parts and shapes. Like Lego building blocks, by using the ideas, thoughts, real-life examples, and advice in these pages you can take diverse pieces and design options for various pathways you choose for your life.
The chapters are designed to stimulate thoughts about how each individual looks at themselves and provides images – in drawings and words – to enable them to start to contemplate their personal shape and how they can start corralling the errant pieces of their professional lives and rounding off the corners to create a symmetrical Circumference of Me.
There are pieces of all sizes and shapes in this kit from which to choose. You can read them all or mix-and-match to suit your mood. You decide which parts are crucial to defining your personal Circumference of Me. Or you can use the individual chapters to create new boundaries on which to build your career … and life.
The challenge is to open your mind, to think, and learn; the challenge is accepting; the challenge is in your personal ability to view yourself from an analytical point of view and, where necessary, to change that which you decide needs changing.
Tuesday, July 27, 2010
Speaking of the truth ….
A truism is something that is true. It does not become true simply because one says, thinks or believes it is untrue.
A truism is truth, unvarnished and naked in its simplicity.
Everyone has a few supposed truisms hidden in their mental and verbal arsenal. Some are true, some aren’t. Over the past several decades, a list of truisms, started during a pique of skepticism and nurtured in negativism, has grown appreciably.
The fact the following list mainly deals with politics and personalities and should surprise no one. If it does, you need psychological help.
Truisms – No dispute accepted nor tolerated
1) If Congress were to be on the same retirement system as non-elected folk, there would be no problem with Social Security.
2) If the Green Party would nominate candidates that looked and acted quasi-normal, the party might elect a few politicians.
3) A Republican who follows his/her party line 80 percent of the time ain’t worth a cup of dog drool.
4) Democrats, ditto.
5) Anyone who blames Obama for every ill this country is facing is dead-dog wrong.
6) Anyone who blames George W. Bush for 100 percent of the mess Obama inherited is dead-dog wrong.
7) There is no logical reason why IRS filings should not be limited to what information can fit on a postcard.
8) A majority of politicians in Washington are bought and paid for by lobbyists.
9) A majority of lobbyists in Washington have the brains of an earthworm, the ethics of a New Orleans pimp and the conscience of a born-again terrorist.
10) Anyone who votes a straight party ticket has as much common sense
as a demented mole. No party is right 100 percent of the time.
11) Term limits for Senators and members of the House are essential to
reforming politics.
12) There are more people driving cars in the United States with
handicapped stickers than there are handicapped people in the world.
13) Sarah Palin’s main attribute is that she has a memorable accent and is
as perky as all get-out.
14) Dick Cheney is not the devil. The jury is still out on Karl Rove.
15) Obama is a citizen of the United States, is not a Muslim and can not
help what his parents named him.
16) Henry Waxman has the ugliest nose in Washington. Strike that. Make
it “the world.”
17) Nancy Pelosi is the worst Speaker of the House of Representatives
since the last one.
18) More people vote “against” a certain candidate for any office than
vote “for” any candidate.
19) The concept of “justice for all” in this country is a myth. If you’re
rich, you can take advantage of the system; if you are poor, you get
to meet Big Wanda or Big Bubba in the prison shower up close and
personal.
And, one for the road:
20) The “value” of a human life is decreasing constantly and criminals are allowed to literally get away with murder, literally and figuratively. Lawyers are allowed to manipulate the judicial system to benefit them and their clients and judges think lenient sentences for heinous crimes are somehow “justice.”
A truism is truth, unvarnished and naked in its simplicity.
Everyone has a few supposed truisms hidden in their mental and verbal arsenal. Some are true, some aren’t. Over the past several decades, a list of truisms, started during a pique of skepticism and nurtured in negativism, has grown appreciably.
The fact the following list mainly deals with politics and personalities and should surprise no one. If it does, you need psychological help.
Truisms – No dispute accepted nor tolerated
1) If Congress were to be on the same retirement system as non-elected folk, there would be no problem with Social Security.
2) If the Green Party would nominate candidates that looked and acted quasi-normal, the party might elect a few politicians.
3) A Republican who follows his/her party line 80 percent of the time ain’t worth a cup of dog drool.
4) Democrats, ditto.
5) Anyone who blames Obama for every ill this country is facing is dead-dog wrong.
6) Anyone who blames George W. Bush for 100 percent of the mess Obama inherited is dead-dog wrong.
7) There is no logical reason why IRS filings should not be limited to what information can fit on a postcard.
8) A majority of politicians in Washington are bought and paid for by lobbyists.
9) A majority of lobbyists in Washington have the brains of an earthworm, the ethics of a New Orleans pimp and the conscience of a born-again terrorist.
10) Anyone who votes a straight party ticket has as much common sense
as a demented mole. No party is right 100 percent of the time.
11) Term limits for Senators and members of the House are essential to
reforming politics.
12) There are more people driving cars in the United States with
handicapped stickers than there are handicapped people in the world.
13) Sarah Palin’s main attribute is that she has a memorable accent and is
as perky as all get-out.
14) Dick Cheney is not the devil. The jury is still out on Karl Rove.
15) Obama is a citizen of the United States, is not a Muslim and can not
help what his parents named him.
16) Henry Waxman has the ugliest nose in Washington. Strike that. Make
it “the world.”
17) Nancy Pelosi is the worst Speaker of the House of Representatives
since the last one.
18) More people vote “against” a certain candidate for any office than
vote “for” any candidate.
19) The concept of “justice for all” in this country is a myth. If you’re
rich, you can take advantage of the system; if you are poor, you get
to meet Big Wanda or Big Bubba in the prison shower up close and
personal.
And, one for the road:
20) The “value” of a human life is decreasing constantly and criminals are allowed to literally get away with murder, literally and figuratively. Lawyers are allowed to manipulate the judicial system to benefit them and their clients and judges think lenient sentences for heinous crimes are somehow “justice.”
Thursday, July 15, 2010
Want a good rant? Fine! Here!
Land of the free. Home of the brave.
Yeah! Right! (Proving once and for all that two positive can make a negative.)
America today is more like the home of the freebie, home of the greedy.
Look around you. What in name of Jezebel’s housecat has happened to our country?
One word: Politics.
It’s bad enough we are limited to two lame parties with screeching leaders with less common sense than a herd of demented rhesus monkeys, but we have a mindless population that follow those leaders like blindfolded kindergarten rejects.
We elect leaders who claim to have our best interests in mind, when, in actuality, their personal interests and those of their monied minders are paramount. We elect those leaders expecting them to make changes and all they do is raise taxes and spend time figuring out how to emerge from politics richer than when they went in.
We elect the yahoos and yahooettes to make our country a better place in which to live and all they do is spend tax dollars like they print the durn things at projects on which any competent businessperson would take a pass.
We vote for Bert and Beulah Bureaucrat. We smile as they sally forth to do battle with the Budget Dragon … and then add to the burden with pet projects of dubious nature so they can get re-elected for bringing home tax dollar-sponsored projects.
We make fun of members of the opposite party from our beliefs or raisin’s while lauding the attributes of favorite politicians without ever realizing that they are the same mutant critters with different political labels.
There is absolutely no difference in a Democrat who pushes a welfare program for which there is no need, or a Republican who wants a tax break for big business. It’s all politics and the shifty voting moves are to get the respective officials re-elected.
It’s politics and it’s shameful.
Rant over. Now go on back out and re-elect those good politicians that are doing right by you and this country.
Yeah! Right! (Proving once and for all that two positive can make a negative.)
America today is more like the home of the freebie, home of the greedy.
Look around you. What in name of Jezebel’s housecat has happened to our country?
One word: Politics.
It’s bad enough we are limited to two lame parties with screeching leaders with less common sense than a herd of demented rhesus monkeys, but we have a mindless population that follow those leaders like blindfolded kindergarten rejects.
We elect leaders who claim to have our best interests in mind, when, in actuality, their personal interests and those of their monied minders are paramount. We elect those leaders expecting them to make changes and all they do is raise taxes and spend time figuring out how to emerge from politics richer than when they went in.
We elect the yahoos and yahooettes to make our country a better place in which to live and all they do is spend tax dollars like they print the durn things at projects on which any competent businessperson would take a pass.
We vote for Bert and Beulah Bureaucrat. We smile as they sally forth to do battle with the Budget Dragon … and then add to the burden with pet projects of dubious nature so they can get re-elected for bringing home tax dollar-sponsored projects.
We make fun of members of the opposite party from our beliefs or raisin’s while lauding the attributes of favorite politicians without ever realizing that they are the same mutant critters with different political labels.
There is absolutely no difference in a Democrat who pushes a welfare program for which there is no need, or a Republican who wants a tax break for big business. It’s all politics and the shifty voting moves are to get the respective officials re-elected.
It’s politics and it’s shameful.
Rant over. Now go on back out and re-elect those good politicians that are doing right by you and this country.
Friday, July 9, 2010
Salmon River Trip - 2010
Colin and Kay Kelly of Canada. Two of the most memorable people one could ever hope to meet. Thanks for the laughter, fun, education and friendship!
George and Brandie
Salmon River Trip - 2010
Teagan Jean,
Homecoming Queen,
Thinks she's nice,
but she's so mean!!!!
Go! Team!!!
Teagan, thanks for all the help in camp!!!
Thursday, July 8, 2010
Friday, June 18, 2010
Oh, the tragedy and irony
It’s no wonder people hate BIG Business and the obscene lobbying efforts of major alliances.
Within the past several weeks newspaper around the country ran a color, one-page advertisement paid for by the American Petroleum Institute. That is the informational, educational and lobbying arm of the “the people of America’s oil and natural gas industry.”
The self-serving ad made several points worth repeating:
1) "The people of America’s oil and natural gas industry are working to help BP (British Petroleum), which owns the spewing well, and the authorities respond to the (Gulf of Mexico) spill."
2) “Clearly, there will be lessons to be learned….”
3) “… we are fully committed to doing everything humanly possible to understand what happened and prevent it from every happening again.”
4) The institute has “already assembled the world’s leading experts to conduct a top-to-bottom review of offshore drilling procedures, from routine operations to emergency response.”
Somebody give me a hanky. I am crying here.
The ad appeared before BP’s CEO Tony Hayward testified before a Congressional committee(or who didn't testify, depending on your point of view), who, if he is to believed, is not in charge of anything at his company and does not make decisions that could adversely affect his company and the world’s environment. Hayward was so bored at the Congressional hearing he kept checking his watch.
“I can’t answer that question,” was uttered by Hayward time and again. He might as well ‘fessed up and declared, “I won’t answer that question.”
If Hayward was the hearing’s mute, then the HIC (Hearing Idiot Child) was Texas Rep. Joe Barton. Barton actually apologized to Hayward for the White House’s “$20 billion shakedown” of BP, following BP's promise of up to $20 billion in restitution for businesses ruined by the underwater oil well blowout.
One would think Barton was snorting BBQ sauce when he apologized to Hayward for saying the White House’s “shakedown” of BP was a “tragedy.”
On the International SIASD Scale (Stupid Is As Stupid Does), with a 10 being Dan Quayle and Joe Biden and 1 being Stephen Hawkins, Barton is way north of Quayle and Biden.
The “tragedy” in regard to Barton’s statement -- which he retracted six hours later -- is that voters in a Texas congressional district elected that mental doofus to Congress.
Back to the main point: In case you missed the irony in the ad message … the ad was paid for by the Institute, which is financed by the oil and gas industry, which gets its money from YOU!
The next time you need to fill up at the gas pump, give a one-fingered salute to a BP station as you drive by. It won’t do any good, of course. But, then again, it can’t hurt either.
Within the past several weeks newspaper around the country ran a color, one-page advertisement paid for by the American Petroleum Institute. That is the informational, educational and lobbying arm of the “the people of America’s oil and natural gas industry.”
The self-serving ad made several points worth repeating:
1) "The people of America’s oil and natural gas industry are working to help BP (British Petroleum), which owns the spewing well, and the authorities respond to the (Gulf of Mexico) spill."
2) “Clearly, there will be lessons to be learned….”
3) “… we are fully committed to doing everything humanly possible to understand what happened and prevent it from every happening again.”
4) The institute has “already assembled the world’s leading experts to conduct a top-to-bottom review of offshore drilling procedures, from routine operations to emergency response.”
Somebody give me a hanky. I am crying here.
The ad appeared before BP’s CEO Tony Hayward testified before a Congressional committee(or who didn't testify, depending on your point of view), who, if he is to believed, is not in charge of anything at his company and does not make decisions that could adversely affect his company and the world’s environment. Hayward was so bored at the Congressional hearing he kept checking his watch.
“I can’t answer that question,” was uttered by Hayward time and again. He might as well ‘fessed up and declared, “I won’t answer that question.”
If Hayward was the hearing’s mute, then the HIC (Hearing Idiot Child) was Texas Rep. Joe Barton. Barton actually apologized to Hayward for the White House’s “$20 billion shakedown” of BP, following BP's promise of up to $20 billion in restitution for businesses ruined by the underwater oil well blowout.
One would think Barton was snorting BBQ sauce when he apologized to Hayward for saying the White House’s “shakedown” of BP was a “tragedy.”
On the International SIASD Scale (Stupid Is As Stupid Does), with a 10 being Dan Quayle and Joe Biden and 1 being Stephen Hawkins, Barton is way north of Quayle and Biden.
The “tragedy” in regard to Barton’s statement -- which he retracted six hours later -- is that voters in a Texas congressional district elected that mental doofus to Congress.
Back to the main point: In case you missed the irony in the ad message … the ad was paid for by the Institute, which is financed by the oil and gas industry, which gets its money from YOU!
The next time you need to fill up at the gas pump, give a one-fingered salute to a BP station as you drive by. It won’t do any good, of course. But, then again, it can’t hurt either.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
If I don't blow my own horn ... who will?
The following is a unpaid commercial rift with ego-enriched facts.
George S. Smith of Cabot was recently named the 2010 Public Relations Person of the Year by the Association of Equipment Manufacturers (AEM).
Smith, director of communication services for Topcon Positioning Systems (TPS), a global leading developer and manufacturer of precision positioning equipment, joined TPS in 2005.
Topcon is the largest company in the world focused exclusively on positioning control and machine control products, software and applications for the survey, civil engineering and construction industries.
AEM, headquartered in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, has offices in Washington, D.C., Canada, Europe and China and provides services to almost 1,000 members in the agriculture, construction, forestry, mining and utility industries.
A longtime Arkansas newspaper editor and publisher, Smith is a former vice president of Alltel Corporation, having served as vice president of media services for five year. TPS operates its marketing services operation from a Cabot office.
Smith was selected for the award by Publications in Construction and Agriculture (PICA), an AEM subgroup. PICA selects the annual winner of the award as an “outstanding example of best practices in media relations.”
The criteria used in the selection process include reliability, accuracy of content, quality of information provided, trustworthiness, integrity and level of experience about their company, products and industry.
Lawrence Buser, editorial director for Baum Publications’ nine trade magazines in the U.S. and Canada, presented Smith the award at the AEM’s annual trade show exhibitors education meeting in Las Vegas, May 18-19.
Buser said, “There is no one working with the AEM trade publications who is more responsive than Topcon’s George Smith. Without exception, he instinctively knows what individual publications want and need, and provides timely and relevant information that is educational and informative to our readers.”
Smith said, “To be honored by one’s peers is special; to be honored by people to whom one provides service is extra-special. Receiving this award is very humbling, and focuses the high level of importance that Topcon places on media relations.”
Smith praised Dennis House, vice president of media services, and Staci Fitzgerald, TPS communications specialist, both Cabot residents, for their commitment to ensuring Topcon is providing “worthwhile information in a timely manner to trade publications that cover the industries TPS serves.”
In the three-plus years Smith has been directing external communications efforts for TPS, the annual number of application and jobsite stories about the company in global trade publications has increased from 32 in 14 different publications in 2006 to more than 160 in 45 publications in 2009.
George S. Smith of Cabot was recently named the 2010 Public Relations Person of the Year by the Association of Equipment Manufacturers (AEM).
Smith, director of communication services for Topcon Positioning Systems (TPS), a global leading developer and manufacturer of precision positioning equipment, joined TPS in 2005.
Topcon is the largest company in the world focused exclusively on positioning control and machine control products, software and applications for the survey, civil engineering and construction industries.
AEM, headquartered in Milwaukee, Wisconsin, has offices in Washington, D.C., Canada, Europe and China and provides services to almost 1,000 members in the agriculture, construction, forestry, mining and utility industries.
A longtime Arkansas newspaper editor and publisher, Smith is a former vice president of Alltel Corporation, having served as vice president of media services for five year. TPS operates its marketing services operation from a Cabot office.
Smith was selected for the award by Publications in Construction and Agriculture (PICA), an AEM subgroup. PICA selects the annual winner of the award as an “outstanding example of best practices in media relations.”
The criteria used in the selection process include reliability, accuracy of content, quality of information provided, trustworthiness, integrity and level of experience about their company, products and industry.
Lawrence Buser, editorial director for Baum Publications’ nine trade magazines in the U.S. and Canada, presented Smith the award at the AEM’s annual trade show exhibitors education meeting in Las Vegas, May 18-19.
Buser said, “There is no one working with the AEM trade publications who is more responsive than Topcon’s George Smith. Without exception, he instinctively knows what individual publications want and need, and provides timely and relevant information that is educational and informative to our readers.”
Smith said, “To be honored by one’s peers is special; to be honored by people to whom one provides service is extra-special. Receiving this award is very humbling, and focuses the high level of importance that Topcon places on media relations.”
Smith praised Dennis House, vice president of media services, and Staci Fitzgerald, TPS communications specialist, both Cabot residents, for their commitment to ensuring Topcon is providing “worthwhile information in a timely manner to trade publications that cover the industries TPS serves.”
In the three-plus years Smith has been directing external communications efforts for TPS, the annual number of application and jobsite stories about the company in global trade publications has increased from 32 in 14 different publications in 2006 to more than 160 in 45 publications in 2009.
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