Celebrities? Pshaw!

Somebody please explain to me how we changed from a country whose citizens embraced “heroes” to one who drools spittle after “celebrities?”

On second thought, never mind. The thought of Nimrod No. 1 trying to explain this cultural phenomenon to Nimrod No. 2 gives me a migraine.

Let me see if I can get this straight: Paris Hilton in a celebrity because:
A) She’s richer than a Saudi prince.
B) She’s pretty in an Anorexia Calendar pinup sort of way.
C) She can walk a red carpet for anything from the Oscars to Emmys to Charity Event for the Venetian Blind without turning her ankle in her four-inch heels.
D) All of the above.

Paris Hilton is an airhead with money. Yet, millions of Americans and members of the world community follow her every movement like she was a tennis ball at Centre Court at Wimbledon.

Just recently, she was found with cocaine in her purse, which she said wasn’t her purse, but was borrowed. She was arrested and used the photo opportunity at the police station to “vamp” it up.

Earlier photos of her show her carrying the exact same purse, so she admitted she lied. She finally ‘fessed up and pleaded guilty and received a year’s probation.

A few weeks later she flew to Japan and after six hours of questioning by immigration officials, she was denied entry into the country because of her drug conviction.

Yea! for Japan. At least one country has guts and brains when dealing with celebrity druggies.

Hilton is 29 years old and thinks the world owes her homage. She is the picture-perfect example of bimbo, and to show she is one, she doesn’t care what all the little people think of her.

She is not just a bimbo, however. She has so much money, a new term needs to be coined (pun intended) for her ilk: $imbo.

Speaking of celebrities …

Lindsay Lohan is a druggie alcoholic who used to be cute and could, quite literally, act herself out of a paper bag.

She’s had two DWI convictions and three visits to drug rehabilitation centers. Now, she’s going to jail because he cannot raise above her spoiled-brat persona and proved it by busting her probation requirements.

Lady Gaga is a female doofus who does a bad Madonna knockoff in her singing and stage presence. Her real name is Stefani Joanne Angelina Germanotta.

Forbes magazine listed her as fourth on the list of the 100 Most Powerful and Influential celebrities in the world.

Yikes! Even Forbes has bought into the celebrity-is-everything myth.

Just think: Celebrities wouldn’t be celebrities if everyone would just ignore them.