1) George Bush's administration was like a pumpkin … both before and after it has been carved into a Jack O' Lantern -- bumpy, lumpy, hard on the outside, pure mush on the inside, and, at the end, scary as hell.
2) Friendships are like saltwater taffy. When chilled, they can snap apart; when warm, they hang together despite attempts to pull them apart.
3) One person I know compares my attempts at humor to a NASCAR driver leading the final lap at Daytona – fast and furious and hugging the inside verb curve.
4) If life were a color, I'd have a hard time choosing between: Golf pants on Seniors Day at the course; an explosion at Sherwin Williams; the smile of a child after eating a candied apple; or Tammy Faye Bakker's eye shadow.
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