Scamming the Internet Spamming Scammer

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Overview:

Several years ago, on a rainy Saturday, boredom set in as I surfed the Internet. An email popped up that caught my eye: "Dear Sir: I need your help!" It was a request for financial assistance from a person in Africa whose father had been assassinated, whose mother had died of cancer and whose dog, Happy, had pink-eye (or whatever).

On a whim, I answered and offered help. The ensuing email back-and-forth went on for a total of 61 emails before the spammer got tired of my high-jinks and quit writing.

Over the next two years, more than 4,000 scam-type emails were received ... and the concept of a book was born. Working with my daughter Mattie Somer Smith Cummins, we now have more than 160,000 words in email dialogue with more than 200 of the Best of the Best Scamming Spammers. By the end of the year, after culling a majority of second-rate exchanges, it will be a book titled: Scamming the Internet Spamming Scammer.

Here's a snippet from the book. Exchanges with some memorable scammers will be posted here in the future. (To whet your appetite further, one day's mail brought a FedEx package from a scammer in Canada containing more than $180,000 in money orders from three businesses, including Wal-Mart, plus $30,000 in American Express  gift "cheques." My local bank said the "cheques" looked real enough to cash; the money orders were for unusually large amounts and "might not" be cashed.

Learning to love spam – the email variety, not the canned meat

       Few computer users on the planet – make that “no” computer users – have not received unsolicited emails offering everything from quick stock tips, how to “Meet Singles in Your Area,” credit card applications, a promise of a free laptop, free vacation, collection of CDs for a penny, or free car insurance quotes.

       The spam filter software phenomenon is a multi-million-dollar industry and, for the most part, the software is well worth the money. But those that spam, that make their living from blast emailing millions of mail offers too good to pass up per year, routinely find a way to get around virtually any spam filter. That is accomplished by inventive subject lines that intentionally circumvent the litany of words that trigger spam filters: Rich, deal, fortune, stock, quick . . . and myriad others.

       It’s inconceivable that a large number of computer users would invite spammers to infest a personal computer. Those that do are either extremely lonely, desire to get mail – any type of mail – fall into the category of cyperspace masochists, or are simply interested in the verbal foreplay. Many computer users get dragged into Spammer Hell unwittingly. It’s relatively simple to do: Fill out an online questionnaire for something as innocuous as trying to win a free computer, DVD player, or free dinners or movie tickets and a deluge of offers – real and surreal – will pop up with the frequency of woodland mushrooms after a spring shower.

       A half-completed, simple questionnaire from a reputedly on-the-level research firm about personal preferences in regard to reading material, soft drink, music preference, and other common discussion-of-life topics resulted in hundreds of spam emails flooding a single Google gmail address.

       The first week after the spam “hook” was dropped into the email ocean, 121 spammers dropped off invitations: Try a new cookbook, get a new credit card with “no interest” for a year; try out an online encyclopedia service; sign up for hot stock tips; “win” a free plasma TV; and a link to a soft porn site based on the Scooby-Do character. (Scooby-Do, not Shaggy.)

       By Week 6, more than 2,100 spam emails had made their way to the in-basket. Of that number, 427 were answer-this-because-I-want-your-money scams. Five months after the initial spam message, more than 20 spam emails were still coming in daily.

       It is no secret to law enforcement and bank officials, or dispirited victims who buy into scams, that sales tools of the scammers include a variety of “hooks,” with greed being the largest and most weighty of the instruments of your destruction. There are few people on the planet that would not jump at the prospect for large sums of money for relatively little effort. Look at the everyday examples: Those who religiously play the lottery; gamblers of all levels and degree of professionalism; televangelists; and, many professional athletes.

       What turns a scammer on? The thrill of the hunt and the imagined reward. Scammers look for “high signs,” words or phrases that trigger a response to hit the victim on a certain level of emotion. One scam message might be sent out to generate a small “courier fee” for quick, down-and-dirty transfer of cash. But if the victim lets it slip he or she is living off an “insurance settlement” trust fund, the scammer takes on a different life and the monetary target is increased exponentially.

       If you are religious and pulpit-pound your chest in your contact with them, the next email usually include phrases like “The Lord be With You” or “Praise Jesus” or “I am most happy to be communicating with another person of faith. Praise God.”

       If it is revealed the intended victim has an illness or affliction, the words of sympathy and solace pour forth like healing elixir from a computer fountain. The targeted victim will be reassured the malady – regardless of what it is –will not in any way deter their participation in the too-good-to-believe proposition. Information about a deceased loved one from a victim brings forth words of support.

       Often the scammer will one-up the victim, relating horrible tales of personal tragedy and woe. That holds true unless the original letter contained a story about a murdered relative, or one who died in a plane crash, assassination, or is lying in a “cancerous condition” on the brink of death. In that case, the intended victim will be reminded – again and again – about the situation, striving for maximum sympathy, digging the emotion-filled hook in ever deeper.

      Some scammers, when all else fails, make the ultimate sacrifice. They actually “die” during the email correspondence to add a nice grief garnish to the pitch. It’s not unusual for the scammer to claim to be fading fast, but still valiantly trying to leave his or her money to a deserving and good person – you – before Death rides in, cloak flowing in his wake, scythe swinging.

      Relying as most scammers do on a prepared script for the initial contact, any deviation from the patented spiel the connivers expect to hear in return can cause immediate cessation of email contact and dismissal of the victim. Goodbye. And on to the next mark. Or, the confusion caused by a non-expected answer can trigger curiosity, and the scammers themselves become the scammed.

                  If a foreign-based scammer runs head-long into a word or phrase they

       don’t know, they take the action of the intelligent ignorant: They ignore it. A

      good example is the acronym sometimes stuck in emails: ESAD! Only one

      scammer every asked what it meant: Eat Sh** and Die!                                                      

      Some working the con will go to great lengths in an attempt to salvage a seemingly lost victim that fulfills certain expected and sought-after qualities in an Internet scam victim: Sincerity, gullibility, cultivated naiveté, a rare wanna-help attitude, and, most importantly, ready cash. One con ended abruptly, then was resurrected two months later like nothing had happened.

      There is a core of scam pitches that carry, more or less, the same central themes. While the location, product or computered hook may vary slightly, for the most part, all have the same objective . . . get money, get it fast, and disappear into the dark Internet forest.