Time to kill a few rumors

Rumors are just lies told with supposedly insider knowledge. The rumor mills never stop, regardless of location.

So, for the record, here’s some rumors that have no validity and I take this opportunity to slap them down with a vehement spirit.

1) Sarah Palin will not run for president in 2012. Neither will Mike Huckabee. Neither will 12 politicians we don't know who have a good chance of winning the presidency.

2) The wife of the top Taliban spiritual leader was quoted as saying in an interview that she thinks President Barack Obama is “one hunky dude.”

3) Wal-Mart is going to revert to its traditional roots and pledges to provide exemplary customer service.

4) Soccer is a communist plot to keep good athletes from participating in football, baseball and basketball.

5) Those little stickers placed on fruit and vegetables are part of a terrorist plot to poison Americans. (I hate them durn things!)

6) Computers in all stores are always totally accurate in reading prices and weights.

7) When most adults say “it’s bout the kids” in regard to education, sports or extra-curricular activities, it’s always – always – about the kids.

8) No one in government has ever paid an individual to cast a vote a certain way or work to get others to vote likewise.

9) There are monied folks in this country who work hard behind the scenes to get certain candidates elected simply because they believe in good government without personal gain.

10) A recent assault by American warplanes near the Pakistani border with Afghanistan killed more than 15 sheep, leaving Osama bin Laden without a date for the 10th Annual Terrorist Prom.