Rick Perry is, well pretty … that’s it, pretty.

Texas Gov. Rick Perry is a pretty boy.

That’s it. End of story.

The Honorable Governor of Tomorrow was hanging around the edges of politics 20 years ago, flitting around Austin as a state representative, agriculture commissioner and lieutenant governor.

His college choice was Texas A&M and it was there he decided to become a professional politician; he was a Corps Yell Leader.

In other words, he hasn’t had a real job (at least none is listed on his campaign website) since 1977 when he was discharged from the Air Force.

I saw then Agri Commissioner Perry back in the early ‘90s when he was pre-running for something or other and remembered thinking at the time: “I’m straight … but he’s purty.”

He’s older now, with Grecian Formula-ed hair that is distinguished without being too New Orleans pimpish. He has great vertical laugh lines in his chiseled cheeks; his suits are subdued, his ties are conservative in color and know size.

In other words, just the kind of politician I want some gomer-upstart to kick the slobberjaws out of in Perry’s re-election run.

Sarah Palin: Pitiful phenom

All of you good-meaning folks out there who are drooling over the political aspirations and expectations of Sarah (I Walked Out on Alaska) Palin, dust your saliva glands with baby powder.

Take a deep breath and re-enter the world of reality.

Palin is an illusion, the equivalent of a biker chick running for mayor; it sounds entertaining at the time, but gets old in a hurry. Even the Republican Party is not yet desperate enough to nominate a woman for president who thinks she looks cute in black leather accented by school marm glasses.

At least Biker Chick No. 1 – Texas’ own Ann Richards – knew enough to play the black leather act as a joke.

Palin’s great at parroting cutesy one-liners written by staffers who at one time longed to be part of the writing team for “My Name is Earl.”

That show was canceled. So will “Sarah’s Pitiful Slide to Oblivion” when it hits the big stage.

If the GOPers are counting on Palin or slick-as-oiled-pond-water Mitch Romney to rescue the party in 2012, delusional thinking has replaced conservatism as the main plank in the party platform.