Gummit? What's it good for?

What is it about the U.S. gummit that makes it think it can cure all ills, right all wrongs, print more money than there is collateral to back it up and, generally, make hay while the sun shines or the rain falls or there is fog or . . . ?

Our gummit believes it is perfectly appropriate to put a gauzy shroud over the U.S. Constitution when it deems it necessary to do so. It believes that running up massive debt to make sure mismanaged companies -- make that "some companies" -- don't go belly-up is perfectly acceptable. And, it believes that telling half-a-truth is tantamount to being truthful, and putting a "secret" stamp on some project or other to avoid embarrassment is perfectly acceptable.

With the proper public relations spin, our government can instigate a phoney-baloney war or two, watch while American soldiers are killed, and excuse the actions away as the "proper action to take."

There are, however, some things that gummit can not do.

1) Gummit cannot be non-partisan. The labels politicians hang on themselves and others -- Democrat, Republican, right-wing wingnut, left-wing liberal -- prohibit rational thought, a pledge for commonality on common principles and an overall mutual respect. Most Americans are ecoli-ill of partisan politics ... but politicians don't care.

2) Gummit can't balance a budget. No discussion necessary.

3) The leaders of this country can not run gummit like a business, i.e., don't spend more than you take in and show a profit. Forget the profit: How about running the gummit like a non-profit ... just break freakin' even!

4) Gummit can not contol lobbyists. Our elected officials don't run this country ... paid lobbyists do. If you don't believe that . . . you are in need of serious psychological help.

5) Gummit cannot run a business or program of any kind.

It can't run a mail delivery service. Oh, they did okay back when mail was strapped on the back of a horse, but that run of success lasted a few short years. Now the postal service is a disorganized mess where customer service is likened to a unsightly wart.

The gummit can't run a railroad, despite great examples all over the world on how to do exactly that. Amtrak is a joke and has been ever since the gummit started its subsidization of the broken mass transit system.

6) The gummit, when faced with trying to run something they broke in the first place, can't admit failure and seek help from professionals. (See "postal service" and "railroad.")

For example, the government ought to sell the postal system and Amtrak to organized crime. That would solve the problem.

Organized crime has never lost money on any enterprise, and, if the service of both enterprises continued to be horrible ... who would complain?

7) And, gummit will never vote for term limits, and will do whatever it can to prohibit the American people from voting on the question.

But there is one thing gummit officials are very, very good at: Self-perservation.

And the American people allow them to do exactly that, term after term after . . . .