Typecasting ... and the woman who knew me best

Ms. Margie Grant was an enigma and an anathema to generations of students at Avery High School in Northeast Texas. Her college-level lesson plans and the in-class chores and homework assignments elicited more cuss words from many students than a practical joke from a friend involving Ben-Gay and a jock strap.

It was only after high school, when college English classes seemed startlingly simple that ex-students elevated her to Education Goddess status.

With a uncommon combination of common sense, dedication to her chosen field, and education, she could have taught at any college in Texas, but marriage to a man with a business in the community of English (yes, English), kept her tied to teaching English to less than 100 students a day in ninth to twelfth grades.

Despite her marital status, she was singularly known as Mizgrant . . . a single word that spoke volumes about the woman.

In Mizgrant’s classes you learned English whether or not you were so inclined.  She demanded obedience in learning all things English (the subject matter, not the town). Grammar was her passion, as was diagramming sentences, punctuation, and literature of all ilks. While other school-age ruralites in Annona, Detroit, Powderly, and Dimple were reading one step above “The Little Engine that Could,” Mizgrant’s students were plowing through Twain’s “A Tramp Abroad” or Osa Johnson's "I Married Adventure."

It was not unusual for a Mizgrant class to spend time on Monday going over the word picture intricacies in Sinclair’s “The Jungle,” switch to a discussion of “The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn” on Tuesday and then spend the last three days of the week on the stacked-high examples of symbolism in “Lord of the Flies” or the fiction-can-become-reality aspects of “Animal Farm.”

In addition to teaching freshman-to-senior English classes, she also directed any activities associated with word arts in the state’s Interscholastic League competition, i.e., one-act play, debate, extemporaneous speech, and poetry reading. Her one-act play direction never failed to win the district competition, but, honestly, the other actors didn’t stand a chance. A rendition of “Aaron Slick from Punkin Creek” by competing schools paled in comparison to Shakespeare’s “Midsummer Night’s Dream” or “The Devil and Daniel Webster.”

She didn’t just direct the action and dialogue of the selected pieces like any normal drama teachger; we learned the history of the play, why it was written, why she had selected it, and what life-lessons we could learn from being a part of the production.

For “The Devil and Daniel Webster, she told us it was originally a short story by Stephen Vincent Benet.

Fine. Good. Let’s get to this acting business, shall we?

That wasn’t enough for Mizgrant. The play was the retelling of a classic German tale, on which the the short story “The Devil and Tom Walker” by Washington Irving was based.

Okay, we got it and we’re officially bored to the point of contemplating suicide.

The casting of the play, Mizgrant told the assembled would-be thespians, was strict typecasting: She smiled as she announced I was to play the devil.

I didn’t look much like a devil in the eleventh grade; to obtain that look took years of hard work and an ex-wife who sucked the blood clean out of me.

“I don’t look like the devil,” I whined to Mizgrant.

“You’ll do fine,” she assured me. “The part is all about attitude and demeanor; you have the attitude down already and you can be demeaner than anyone in school.”

Oh, yeah, forgot. She was fond of springing really awful puns without warning.

After six weeks of rehearsals – in which I had to learn how to hit a couple of notes on a borrowed fiddle -- and with a new, shiny black suit, a red vest, hair longer than the usual flattop with fenders, which I slicked back with Butch Wax, plus hours spent trying to figure out how to loosen my vocal chords to lower my voice -- Mizgrant transformed me into not just “a” devil, but “the” devil.

            It did not escape my attention – nor that of my parents – that in three successive years I had been chosen to play the part of Bottom in “Midsummer Night’s Dream,” (a character who flits between the human world and a fantasyland of the fairy underworld); Petruchio in “Taming of the Shrew” (a fortune-hunting scoundrel who is a bit of an idiot), and the devil.

            No doubt about it: Typecasting.

            After winning the district’s best actor award three years in a row, I elected not to be in Mizgrant’s play my senior year. Rather, she elected me not to be in it. The tryouts were held and I was given the lead. However, the part – don't remember what it was or the name of the play – called for the character to have long hair. Deal breaker, that. My flattop with perfect fenders hairdo was a masterpiece and long hair was not in my immediate plans.

            “She won’t cut me. Not me. Not after I handed that woman three best actor awards and my performances won three straight district titles. No way. No how.”

Way. How.

When I showed up for practice the following Monday – with a flattop and fenders greased back to perfection – she announced that another boy had assumed the lead role.

“You cut me?” I asked in astonishment.

“Not literally, figuratively,” she said, smiling.

I hate it when she talks like that. Next thing you know, she’ll have me diagramming that damn sentence!

Great leaders leave great messages

In his farewell address as the nation’s first president, George Washington warned against the evils of partisan spirit in government.

More than 200 years later, his fear and the evils he warned against are real and threatening the very fiber of this country. The state of partisanship in Washington-on-the-Deficit is a national embarrassment and is shared by both parties and their collective wing-groups.

The clamor in the media by those who hold their labels like shields of righteousness – from Rush “Say Whatever It Takes To Keep the Vitriol Flowing” Limbaugh to Rachel “Madcow” Maddow, from Al “No One Will Out-Liberal Me” Sharpton to Bill “Trust Me! This is All True” O’Reilly – should give every voter with common sense what three generations ago was called “biliousness.”

These folks should not be considered voices for reason and progress: They are entertainers who push buttons to … dare I say it? … make money. That is, and will be, their reason for being.

It is a clarion cry from the conservatives in general that the “liberal media” is setting the national political agenda and pushes Democratic ideas and ideals. Yet, not one word about how the Top 5 political commentators on television are of the conservative bent.

Are they talking about newspapers? Probably, yes. But every single major daily in the United States has a variety of columnists who take both sides of an issue and dissect it in harsh conservative and liberal slices.

What then is the problem?

In a phrase: Special interests. Politicians – practically ALL politicians from local to national  – are bought and sold on every major issue. If an elected official claims otherwise … mouth moving … you know.

The reality of politics is that it takes money to get elected and a vast majority of politicians or would-be politicians solicit donations from citizens. There are many folks who donate to political campaigns because they believe in or associate with the ideals of a particular candidate.

Most money, though, comes from deep-pocketed special interests who want something back for their contribution. Give-and-take: It’s a simple byproduct of the political system.

In the national political arena, there are a few (a very, very few) politicians from both parties who really want change and worked hard to achieve it. They were buried by their colleagues, who crave power and one-upmanship status above all else.

Both parties are at fault; there are no winners in the present political climate.

But each party has a duty to be true to their core beliefs. It is a fact of political life today that the Democrats have the upper hand in the national voter base due to the diversity of the population and the party catering to that base. In that regard, and finding middle ground on issues that matter to a majority of voters, the GOP has not a clue. Hardcore Republicans seem hell-bent on aiding and abetting the party's slide into irrelevancy.

Despite the recent election in which Republicans proved beyond a reasonable doubt they didn’t have a clue about how to win THAT election, nothing seems to have changed. Party leaders are still taking a hard line on certain issues that a majority of Americans oppose. Standing up on principle is an admirable trait; in certain situations, refusing to compromise simply rings the death bell louder.

To make matters worse, I heard a Republican congressmen say the other day that he was “an Old Guard Republican,” but then went on a harangue about immigration, the importance of military might with little restraint, protecting the wealthy, abortion, etc.

All I could do was shake my head and reflect back on what one centrist Republican, former Sen. Mark Hatfield from Oregon, said upon his retirement in 1996: “I’m an Old Guard Republican. The founders of our party were for small business, education, cutting the military budget. That was our platform in 1856 and I think it’s still a darned good one.”

Meanwhile, the rancor grows louder.

Nothing changes ... whose fault is it?

A long-time friend and colleague recently wrote me about politics in general and the state of politics today.

After a lot of back and forth via email, we agreed to disagree on a whole bunch of issues. He's an O'Reilly and Hannity guy and I tend to watch Morning Joe on MSNBC in order to get, to some degree, both sides of an issue. 

We have been friends since the mid-'70s, and neither of us are going to go out of our way to jeopardize that friendship, but we also are not in the mindset to back down from a good discussion.

So, we agree to disagree without being disagreeable. I am an Independent in my political bent; I vote for the person, not the party. Every member of my family thinks I am a liberal, but, honestly, I voted for the Lesser Bush ... once. In the '70s, I confess to being a screaming liberal. i was pro-abortion, hated the Vietnam War, dismissed the idea of capital punishment and wanted to fund every help-you program on the planet. Now, believe in capital punishment with a fervor for heinous crimes. I still don't see the purpose of the Vietnam War. I still like help-those-that-can't-help-themselves programs but also want a balanced federal budget; eliminating government waste and duplication alone could balance the budget. I believe in individual rights but don't believe that old, white men have any business telling women what they can and cannot do with their bodies. 

I have really studied the Constitution over the past several years ... and while a great document, it is, like the Bible, open to interpretation. Few absolutes rest in that venerable document. And, as always, that's the rub. You say "toMAHto" and I say "toMAYto."

I, like the conservatives in this country, am cynical about government. But, lamenting about what it has become does no good. Change, real change, must be affected before our public serpents (no, that is not misspelled) perform their duties for the benefit of the people and not to their personal collection of false gods, i.e., lobbyists and monied special interest groups.

What to do? Without term limits the "ins" will perpetually keep doing whatever they have to do to stay "in." Without limiting or abolishing the amount of stupid pork barrel projects -- delivering "bacon" back home to ensure re-election -- nothing is going to change.

We can all blame the President for all ills, but that office, regardless of who holds its, is just one corner of the four-pronged problem: President, Congress, courts ... and me and you. It's not "them" that are screwed up -- though, of course, they are -- it is US for allowing THEM to maintain the status quo.

I am reading Jon Meacham's book about Jefferson, "The Art of Power." The same type of political shenanigans happening in Washington today were happening in the federal government back in his day. 

Nothing changes, does it?

Wizard of Oz

The current political situation in this country -- including the Democrat and Republican parties -- is a remake of The Wizard of Oz.

Dorothy: Good heart, but lost, doesn't have a clue and can't figure out how to get back in touch with  her roots.
Tin Man: Cold, squeaky and doesn't have a heart. Wants to do right on some level, but hasn't a clue.
Scarecrow: Dances around issues but no brains for tackling the big issues, thus doesn't have a clue.
Cowardly Lion: Backs down at every opportunity due to a lack of substance and courage to do what's right. Also, doesn't have a clue.
Wizard: Works behind the scenes to manipulate every other character, a master manipulator interested in only his own agenda.
Glenda the Good Witch: Any politician not working on the national stage that still has a hint of the common sense and fortitude and determination that made this nation great.
Wicked Witch: Lobbyists and special interest with money to burn. All of them.

You can assign any member of any party to the characters, but the facts don't change: The federal government is broken and both parties are at fault. Squabbles break out on the most menial of proposals, i.e., presidential cabinet appointees, because of ideological differences; compromise has become a four-letter word and base labels -- conservation/liberal/tea party -- push all agendas regardless of degree of need or public opinion.

The national debt is an abomination and both parties are to blame. Spending more than you take in is a problem of government in general and has been for decades (with a few positive exceptions) not just of this administration. Everything wrong with this government is not Obama's fault ... or the fault of Republicans; it is a co-joined responsibility and regardless of what pollsters say or leaders affirm loudly, the public knows that. The problem is two-fold: Them for acting like they do and us because we keep electing them.

Nothing in Washington is going to change unless the people move to change it. The Tea Party is not the answer, nor is any third-party uprising that hinges its success on a singular, loud-speaker issue.
The problem is more serious than that.

The problems we face today are not about just Democrats vs. Republicans. It's about a lack of common sense, civility, understanding of this country's demographic shift and how to run government like a business. The solutions are simple (yet so complex in the minds of elected officials) that inertia bogs down any positive movement: Term limits, curtailing influence of lobbyists, balanced budget amendment, simplifying the tax code and eliminating loopholes not available to all, demolishing the division of the wage-earner classes in regard to taxes, health care, foreign aid packages, protecting those in our society that can not take care of themselves ... and the list goes on.

The existing parties spend too much time building walls for defense and setting up offensive strategy on how to make the opposing party look bad than they do figuring out how to drive the American economy and do what's right for its people on every important front.

We deserve better but we can only ensure we get it by ousting status quo candidates and electing folks that truly understand what is needed for this country to remain great: Diversity, compassion and attention to details in the budget and in policies.

Now's the time for change. If not now ... when?

Not fit for Facebook

For the past...well, long time, I've neglected this blog. It's really a good place for rants, some of which I have been putting on Facebook. But, my daughter Mattie told me that rants are too long for Facebook and just stir people up.

She wants me to be a good Facebooker and tell Facebooky-type things, like, you know, when you take a break to go to the bathroom and what restaurant you are visiting and how much you enjoyed seeing the newest episode of Gator Boys or Swamp People. Important life stuff.

Okay, but still have to have a place to rant...and that's worldaccordingtogeorgesmith.blogspot.com.

I feel a rant coming on!

For the past four years or so, I've been working on a book tentatively titled "Spamming the Internet Spamming Scammer." The title pretty much says it all: I get a scam email and I work to "hook" the scammer into my "scam." 

On the positive side, many scammers are not sophisticated in the intricacies of the English language and, simply, do not seem to read the return emails. I assume they are looking for key words or phrases -- interested, money, tell me more, etc.

Below is the a recent scam letter and my response. I anticipate within 12 hours getting a positive response for my assistance and ... eventually ... my money to pay for shipping or handling or to pay a courier -- something.

For your amusement:

 

Hello Friend,

This is a life time opportunity and 100% legitimate. We quite understand you might be skeptical about this message due to the rapid of false organisation in the internet, so because of that my wife and I decided to make it known to the world by publishing it on the news. However, Violet my wife and I have decided to make sure this is put on the internet for the world to see and to ease your skeptism. For so doing you do not need to be skeptical about this donation to you. My wife had cancer and as you could see from the webpage, am not getting any younger and you can imagine having no kids at this age. You see after taken care of the needs of our immediate family members, we decided to donate the remaining of the $11Million to other individuals around the world in need, the local fire department, the Red Cross, Haiti, hospitals in Truro where Violet underwent her cancer treatment, and some other organizations in Asia and Europe that fight cancer, Alzheimer's and diabetes and the bulk of the funds deposited with CIMB BANK PLC, the payout bank of this charity donation. We have kept just 2% of the entire lottery sum to our self for the raining day.

To facilitate the disbursement process of the funds [ $500,000.00 USD ] which have been donated solely to you, please send us your contact address and a Valid  Identification(i.e either Driver's License/International Passport of yours) so that we can forward your details over to the payout bank. We are hoping that you will be able to use the money wisely and judiciously over there in your country. We will employ you to do what you can to alleviate the level of poverty in your region and also try to enhance the standard of living of as many people as you can because that is the only objective of donating this money to you in the first place.

I like to re-assure you of the legitimacy of this Services as we will not be involved in any fraudulent act and will never be. We will advise as you as the "Sole Beneficiary" to be calm not to loose this great opportunity which millions of people are trying to entangled but the chances just couldn't come for them because a lot of people are out there to discourage them as they don't know how it works, and have never seen such before.

Sorry to inform you that I lost my wife last year due to cancer illness, though we started the drive of donating the fund but unfortunately i lost her along the line. And i am left alone to do this, but her memory still lives in me. so just try and get this donation soonest because know body knows tomorrow as i am not getting younger everyday.

Thank you for accepting our offer, we are indeed grateful.

God Bless You

Allen and Violet Large

First, Mr. Large, I think it is large of you to be doing what you are doing, especially with your loss and all. I didn't know Violet but am gratefully sorry she is demised. Being demised is no fun. Death is tough, especially on the deceased.

I thought Violet was a living flower of life at first and when I found out she was succumbed I am glad she didn’t sign the letter. That would have been spooky.

I am a benevolent person and plan on giving generously to charities. The Right Rev. Dan Blocker and his right-hand pseudonym (is that the right word?) Hoss Cartwright has a charity for wayward girls called "The Hippy Hoppy House" in Romance, Arkansas. I want to give them money for a wing.

May I request they call it the Violet Large Wing after your late wife?

I have to go to the Just the Fax, Please faxing business downtown to get my drivers' license copied for emailing purposes. What bank information do you need? Will you directly deposit the check to my account? Do you want the regular account, the IRS-doesn't-know-about-it account or the savings account?

Allen (may I call you Allen?), I have to go to town today for the Wednesday service at our nondenominational church -- The Fist of God Temple. So I can get the scanner faxer thingee then. Is that soon enough? What else do I have to do?

Yours,

George "Bubba" Smith

One thing about the current state of politics: It's not about Obama or Romney, or the piddle of doofi in Washington on the Deficit that we elected to represent us. That packal of politicos can not -- CAN NOT -- make one whit of difference regardless of who is the president. For real positive reform, we all have to get of a like mind: Politicians do not run the government -- not the president nor the Congress. Rich people, rich companies who support the legal-but-stupid Superpacs and who pay lobbyists obscene amounts of money to see that legislation is passed that helps them make more money ... they run this country. Five words: Vote conscience and not party. Four words: Real election finance reform. Three words: Legislation affects everyone. Two words: Term limits. One word: Vote.